The Black Eyed Peas - Where Is The Love?

Dynamic Discord

Distinct Disconnect

Disturbing distraction

Deleterious dissemination 

One of the most prominent things that became clear to me throughout the school year and then even more at Summer school was the serious disconnect of communication about the kids between the teachers at different schools and the families with the teachers. It was an endless on and off frustration because you are trying hard to determine how the student learns best and how to communicate with them (especially if they are non-verbal) most effectively (verbal, written, pictures, gestures); and no one can just tell you. But I found out they can. They just don't share the information. It was weeks before the last school sent over the box with all the student's folders, and while there were some helpful written notes, what would have been great is if there had been a conversation with the last teachers. And the parents too. 

All this could be written down, but should be very clear and explanatory, in one place (folder, notebook, etc.) and always precede the student's arrival in the classroom. There was so much the lead teacher had no clue about and spent so much time trying to figure out when (I found out later) it could have been easily explained by information that the last school and the family had through experience they already had. We spent so long wondering: maybe it's because of this or maybe this...and while it was a learning experience for us, it was detrimental to the student who was even more frustrated with us not already knowing.

They hire lead teachers who have a lot of schooling and are relatively experienced, but tend to be pretty young, and then several support staff who act in the role of teacher, but are titled instructional assistants, and could have undergrad degrees, like me, or not, but are deemed qualified by personality, character and past work experience. I definitely believe that there is not enough (none really) training for these positions. I assumed (incorrectly) that my classroom teacher would spend a lot of time working with me to help me learn on the job how to best work with the special needs students. I thought (also incorrectly) that we would have weekly, if not daily, meetings to discuss how things were going and cover questions and talk about what to address as far as lesson plans and behavior modification ideas.

I want to be a great teacher, and I expected to learn a lot working in a school full time. So to say I was disenchanted and disappointed would be an understatement. When I was finally transferred to a different classroom after Spring break, I was so much more impressed with the communication level between the teacher and the support staff, I was wondering why it was so much better. But looking over my notes from the year, I just determined that my first teacher was a very strong passive aggressive personality and the other teacher was not. That can make a big difference in how you get along with people and especially how you choose to communicate with them.

But the students in the classroom suffer when the information needed to work with them more successfully is not shared between staff, teachers, schools, and families. And that's the biggest disappointment.

I Messed Up...

Whoops!

I messed up.

#500Words a day for a week BEFORE you use 'social media' was the goal.

I did this successfully for three or four days, and then today I was watching YouTube videos (stand up comedy and Nardwuar interviews) and just needed to share some of them, so I clicked the share on Twitter button, forgetting that it is not only social media but my preferred number one 'go to' social media platform that I have been writing in order to earn every day. I have been writing in order to earn going on Twitter. To read posts and share photos and random things I observe and am thinking about. It may not sound important or interesting, and it really isn't, but it's what I like to do. It's like my thing, so for me, it is a reward. 

Because I am going to give myself a break, and because there really isn't any punishment or negative consequence of merit if I actually do social media before writing, I am going to be cool and kind to myself and just carry on and not worry about it. Because I wasn't intentionally breaking the rules, I was just acting on impulse, as I do quite often (with both negative and positive results). So this will be okay. But I do wonder. What is the consequence of not doing what you said you would? What is the result of not keeping a promise you made to yourself? I guess nothing. I guess, you just miss out on what you would have accomplished or learned. So that's just on me. And it is sad. 

I mean, when I was a kid I had piano lessons every week. And I was supposed to practice certain things every day so that I could then be up to speed with what I was learning and be ready to learn the next part. But I didn't always practice. I would play all the time, and I got really quite good at playing what I liked, the fun stuff that I already knew, but I *wouldn't always (*rarely) work on what I was supposed to. So the next lesson would often be me and my very patient teacher, Vera Valachova, simply working on the piece and doing during class what I should have been doing on my own. I think I just really needed one on one attention from her while I was playing. Like I would have been a great rich kid who had their music tutor there every day while they practiced. I say 'rich kid' because piano lessons aren't cheap, even back in 1980, and to take them every day, well...

I haven't thought about that experience for a long time so it's cool I remembered it. I remember always feeling totally ashamed when I walked down the hall of my teacher's apartment building (which was super nice, and for single people only, there were no children allowed to live there, and her apartment was all white, including the carpet and the grand piano, which was in total contrast to our house), with my music under my arm, approaching her door to knock, knowing I would have to lie, and try to fake it (I often did this rather than admit my total incompetence), or sheepishly admit my despicable failure at fulfilling her simple request to practice my fuc*ing C# minor scales.

Okay my peeps, my luvs, my dears. I've had a few beers and I've tripped down memory lane here.

Take Care, and love one another. Peace out.

History Mystery

So Little Sleep

In honor of all the sleep deprived people going to work and walking around and doing their best, and myself getting only a few hours of sleep last night, I want to talk about how your sleep schedule is determined by your work hours. Technically, we, as humans, should rise with the sun and sleep when we're tired. This is rarely possible when you have any kind of work schedule outside your home. I read about a place that incorporates naps into the workday. Like kindergarten. Sounds great!

The earliest I can remember having to wake up for a job was when I was working in the cafeteria at Emanuel hospital as a temp, hoping to become a regular employee (they paid well above minimum wage, as it was a union job). I had to wake up at 3:30 am, I think? To get ready and be there by 4:15. I was training to be a sub so it was part of a two-week rotation for all the different kitchen positions, and that was the one where you had to cook all the bacon, so it was the earliest arrival time. This was the most difficult to get up for and I was only saved by the fairly robotic functions of the position, and the pretty early quit time. But it was really impossible to make myself get to bed in time to make sure I got a reasonable amount of rest the night before. I'll tell some more stories from there later...

                                                       Very Similar to the Hospital Cafeteria

The next earliest wake up I can remember was at Walmart, just a couple years ago, when they wanted me to try and train in the baking department. Even though everything you were baking was frozen, there was a lot to make, and the start time was 5:15 am. The gal I trained with was amazing. She knew sign language and was in alcohol recovery, and had a great sense of humor. She had terrible back problems and crappy health insurance though and was making barely any money especially considering how hard she worked. Supposedly Walmart will raise its minimum wage starting pay to $10 an hour soon, but you still cannot live on that. I wished I could continue to work with her, but when given the choice, cashiering was better because of the hours. I rode my bike there as often as I could, which took almost an hour, but mostly bike paths, and I didn't want to do that so early. 

So when I started at          

the high school last year and the hours were supposedly 7:15 until 2:45 I was okay with it. It was doable. It was reasonable. It was expected to work school hours at a school! I'm not a 'morning person' but I am not grumpy or anything, I just prefer to stay up late and wake up late. I have worked swing shift hours in retail, late nights in restaurant/bars, and other sporadic part time hours at different jobs. At the senior apartments, I worked in their fine dining restaurant (full table set up and tie and dress shirt) and I had to do split shift every day because they didn't have many customers for lunch. So I went there from 7-11 and 4-8. Sometimes not even both. The manager was terrible at scheduling and the shifts could be erratic. A few times I got to work the 'day shift' for the regular gal who took a vacation. Her mom also worked there as a housekeeper. The day shift was 7-2, breakfast and lunch service, doing laundry (tablecloths, napkins, and aprons), sometimes room service, and other cleaning and prep work like vacuuming and napkin folding.

 I liked it, you were on your own a lot and it was pretty peaceful but there was no way I was getting her job, she loved it too. It was pretty easy. The only thing lacking was tips. The money was sh*t and tips would have helped a lot. Everything was prepaid so there was no money to deal with, which was an aspect I liked a lot after being fired from OMSI 'science store' (ie gift shop!) for letting a deposit bag out of my sight for two minutes. Nothing happened to it, but they weren't happy about it, or me in general, so that job was way more stressful than it should have been, and after that experience I just wanted something that was a little fun with little to no money handling. I will for sure tell more stories later from both these jobs. They would have been great if I could have recorded them at the time, but I'm sure I'll remember some things, just not some of the sparkling conversation gems...maybe it will come back to me if I write about it in greater detail...

                                                 It's absolutely tried, tested and proven that sleep 

                                                         deprivation is BAD for your health & stresses u out.

The problem with 7:15-2:45

was that it turned out to be 6:15 to 3:30. Sometimes longer. Because they needed me to be a bus aide. Supposedly no one else could do it since I ended up doing it every day until Spring Break when I transferred classrooms. I was actually prepared for something like this because it was mentioned in my interview, however, they gave me the impression it would be an occasional job and not a regular thing. I think they knew how it was supposed to be and my class was the one who fucked up with that. So I had to wake up at five to drive to the person's house, ride the school bus with them, and ride home with them, then drive myself home. Talk about a pain in the butt. For so many reasons. Like you don't get paid for the driving time. And just all the sitting. I missed riding my bike and also gained a lot of weight. I'll rant about this later. And then I discovered (when one of the other bus aides who got on the bus about halfway to school told me) when I finally asked why they had different people all the time, that their class rotated people to be bus aides so that the same person didn't have to do it every day! They switched about every two or three weeks. So logical. So nice! 

I'm way over word count now, I'll hit this up later holmes, TBC; LOVE & Peace Out!

Day 3 of #500Words

Uninspired but Writing Anyway

Why do you need to feel inspired to write in a (stupid) blog anyway?

You obviously don't,

because I didn't write for 11 months, even though I had a ton of stuff to write about, and was finally inspired to continue because I got inspired to bribe myself. No social media distractions (or reward as I call it) until I do my thing. It's a lot like the kids at school. There is usually something that they want (to watch videos on i-pad, etc.) and don't want to work for, but are reluctantly willing to do so in order to earn it. Today I didn't exactly cheat, but I didn't want to write right away so I watched some TV comedies and wrote some 'jokes' (what I call the supposedly funny things I think of) in my 'journal' (my spiral bound calendar datebook that I only use to take notes and make lists, not put down appointments or such sh*t ... I use an old school paper wall calendar for that:)).

And then when I really can't procrastinate any longer, I finally begin, and I'm like, okay, what was I supposed to write about today anyway? I am not even sure, so I will go back to basics and write about the subject at the creamy (or is it crunchy?) center.

Work work work...

                                                            Alright, aalright, alrighhhht!

So this year is a little bit different than last year (when I was assigned to a school but not told where so I had to figure that out on my own). And I didn't have district email yet so I didn't even know about the day for staff to meet and greet, etc. so I totally missed it. No big deal, but it would have been useful to have been there. Now I am already hired by the school district, and I know what school I will be working at and where it is in advance. However, I do not know any of the same people because they dissolved the programs at the school I was at all year and transferred all the Sped employees to different places (fortunately, I met someone at Summer school who will be at the same place in the fall so I got to talk to her!) So it's like I'm starting all over again. But I guess I have a ton more experience going in, I just need to discover how to utilize it, and take advantage of knowing more now than I did then. 

It was a confusing time dealing with packing up the classrooms and not knowing who was going where but I was already up for a change, just to experience a different environment, so I wasn't too upset to move. I did build a lot of friendly and positive relationships at the old school though, and I am a little concerned about being somewhere new and starting that all over again. But there's a learning curve with everything!
Working in education was one of my career goals but I don't know if I want to remain a Sped instructional assistant. I don't know if I want to continue working with older kids. I don't know if I want to try to become qualified to be a teaching sub ( making more money) or if I want to get the extra education required to be a Montessori teacher or something else. I don't know if I want to try and learn enough sign language to work with deaf kids, or enough Spanish to work with bilingual kids. I really loved working with the bilingual kids at the Summer program I did at the elementary school last Summer. They helped me learn more Spanish too, which I have now forgotten from disuse. I don't know if I want to stay in this school district or even this city. I just don't know! 

Time to PRAY!

In times of trouble and confusion, in times of uncertainty and pain, in times of low confidence and indecision, it is always a very good idea to pray. So. I will do the best I can, but I will ask God for help, and that's all I shall do for now. God bless you and stay safe, we can all do better to help each other, so in the words of the great Barack Obama: Be Useful, Be Kind.
 Peace!

Blogger Dodger

I don't know about you but...

I'm just trying to do what I said I would...

Which is to write 500 words a day before I'm 'allowed' on social media...

Birthdays Are for Losers (Just kidding.)

So it's almost my birthday. My fantastically generous Steve has already bought me my desired gifts of a GoPro camera to use while bicycling and a modestly priced beginner's ukulele. I have not opened the camera yet, but am really excited about it, and the ukulele is on its way via Amazon. I feel awkward about getting such nice presents because two years ago he bought me a recurve bow so I could do archery, and I think I've used it about ten times altogether, so I feel like I'm not exactly worthy of gifts I don't use a lot. On the other hand, I also asked if we could get an ice cream maker we saw in Costco a couple months ago, and upon agreement that I would get rid of some other appliances to make room for it (both the slow cookers), we now have three different homemade frozen desserts in the freezer. I have used it A LOT so far. It's fun and challenging (I've already fucked up a few batches by making small errors...), and I am planning to make an actual ice cream cake for my birthday.

I digress (again?? yes, again...so sorry) into life's minutiae. The original purpose, if I recall correctly, and I hope I should because I'm the one who wrote it, of this 'project' was threefold. One, to improve my typing skills. Two, to practice writing. And three, to record my job search efforts. I also had planned on delving into stories and anecdotes about the fifty jobs I've had in my life. I may be exaggerating, but not by much. I had my first part time job when I was fourteen, cleaning up in a local hair salon. I think it could be very interesting (mostly for me I guess) to go back through each job I have had and talk about why I loved or hated it and any successes or fuck ups.

I have the feeling that if I were to do that, in between writing about my current position, that it would probably be a sort of therapy and might help me with the rest of my life. Nothing wrong with that... It's always a good idea to look at your life and be introspective with a little personal analysis of the 'why'.

Back to the Point of the Story

The first day of Summer school was without students, and I expected to meet all the other staff and teachers and find out what my specific role would be and how the class would be run differently from regular school year classes. In most special ed the students stay with one class, rather like grade school, and do individual work based on their abilities, often with a one on one instructional assistant (that's my job title). They are assigned to their classroom based on intellectual ability and age, but mostly behavioral history, like how severe their meltdowns can be and the level of violence toward themselves or others is. I could be wrong about that, but it seems true from my observations. 

I also expected to not know any of the kids in the class, but it turned out that two of them had been in one of my classes from before. So the first day I thought we would get some ground rules for the daily operation (we did) and then meet our individual class staff and probably do some kum-bay-ah stuff, like the name game to get to know each other, and perhaps some trust falls or a team scavenger hunt to build rapport (we did not). The first day was hearing gossip, moving desks around and papering over all the shelves and anything off limits, as we were borrowing another teacher's regular classroom. I think I may share some specifics later, but next time I plan on continuing to go back in time and explain what I have been doing for work for the last year...Cheers! Take care of yourselves.

500 Word "Ketchup"

Wow. It's been almost a year

since I entered this domain. I have been tweeting, writing some letters and texts, but despite thinking about blogging almost everyday, have not ventured back. I am ashamed to say how deleterious it has been for me, yet I have still avoided it. The catharsis and joy of accomplishment I got from writing posts was apparently not enough to encourage me to continue to do so, despite personal promises.

But now I'm back! I received some encouragement and motivation from a rather unlikely, and unexpected place: an erotica podcast. called "Kiss Me Quick's Erotica: Sexy Stories with Rose Caraway  (http://www.thekissmequicks.com/) where she preludes a story with a hint for returning to 'Daily Writing'. She said before you get on social media, write at least 500 words. In your journal, or blog, or notebook; wherever you write and however you write: fiction or personal, etc.

She then takes a screenshot of her word count and shares on Instagram as sort of an accountability insurance; for some reason this was what I needed to hear to finally inspire me to continue my saga here, and I'm grateful to her. I think I'll let her know. Here is the post that inspired her to begin writing again, and share her success with the concept: #500 Word Project

Instead of going back a year to play catch up, I think I will work backwards from now... so I don't get 'blogged down' with digressions and excess rambling. And before I start adding personal anecdotes and interesting asides, I'm going to try and stick to the subject matter, which is work. Though I have to say, I feel as if I've already written 500 words, and it's only 263, so, apparently this is not quite as easy as I maybe figured it would be...

I worked Summer School!

They call it ESY or Extended School Year for some reason; I never got a clear answer as to why. It was only 4 weeks, for 4 days a week for 4 hours a day, but I rode my bike (trying to get back into that after hurting my back last Fall) everyday (until the last week when it was over 100 degrees here) which was about 45 minutes each way, so the day felt longer to me. It was all ages of SPED (Special education) and quite fun and interesting to see and work around the littler kids after having been in the high school all year. Special needs students range vastly with a wide variety of behavioral and physical problems that mean they need extra attention and support in and out of the classroom. It includes kids with varying diagnosis of autism, neurological disorders including seizures, and mild to severe physical disabilities. Some of them are barely able to read and write, while others simply don't have the ability to sit down and concentrate long enough to do so. But they all have their own positive accomplishments and just need as much help as possible to learn what they can. The genuine smiles you receive from a special ed. student when things are going well is a great reward for an often difficult and challenging job.

I am honestly proud to say I am a little over my #500 so I am going to keep it basic and stop!

Sincerely, The apathetic job seeker