Day 3 of #500Words

Uninspired but Writing Anyway

Why do you need to feel inspired to write in a (stupid) blog anyway?

You obviously don't,

because I didn't write for 11 months, even though I had a ton of stuff to write about, and was finally inspired to continue because I got inspired to bribe myself. No social media distractions (or reward as I call it) until I do my thing. It's a lot like the kids at school. There is usually something that they want (to watch videos on i-pad, etc.) and don't want to work for, but are reluctantly willing to do so in order to earn it. Today I didn't exactly cheat, but I didn't want to write right away so I watched some TV comedies and wrote some 'jokes' (what I call the supposedly funny things I think of) in my 'journal' (my spiral bound calendar datebook that I only use to take notes and make lists, not put down appointments or such sh*t ... I use an old school paper wall calendar for that:)).

And then when I really can't procrastinate any longer, I finally begin, and I'm like, okay, what was I supposed to write about today anyway? I am not even sure, so I will go back to basics and write about the subject at the creamy (or is it crunchy?) center.

Work work work...

                                                            Alright, aalright, alrighhhht!

So this year is a little bit different than last year (when I was assigned to a school but not told where so I had to figure that out on my own). And I didn't have district email yet so I didn't even know about the day for staff to meet and greet, etc. so I totally missed it. No big deal, but it would have been useful to have been there. Now I am already hired by the school district, and I know what school I will be working at and where it is in advance. However, I do not know any of the same people because they dissolved the programs at the school I was at all year and transferred all the Sped employees to different places (fortunately, I met someone at Summer school who will be at the same place in the fall so I got to talk to her!) So it's like I'm starting all over again. But I guess I have a ton more experience going in, I just need to discover how to utilize it, and take advantage of knowing more now than I did then. 

It was a confusing time dealing with packing up the classrooms and not knowing who was going where but I was already up for a change, just to experience a different environment, so I wasn't too upset to move. I did build a lot of friendly and positive relationships at the old school though, and I am a little concerned about being somewhere new and starting that all over again. But there's a learning curve with everything!
Working in education was one of my career goals but I don't know if I want to remain a Sped instructional assistant. I don't know if I want to continue working with older kids. I don't know if I want to try to become qualified to be a teaching sub ( making more money) or if I want to get the extra education required to be a Montessori teacher or something else. I don't know if I want to try and learn enough sign language to work with deaf kids, or enough Spanish to work with bilingual kids. I really loved working with the bilingual kids at the Summer program I did at the elementary school last Summer. They helped me learn more Spanish too, which I have now forgotten from disuse. I don't know if I want to stay in this school district or even this city. I just don't know! 

Time to PRAY!

In times of trouble and confusion, in times of uncertainty and pain, in times of low confidence and indecision, it is always a very good idea to pray. So. I will do the best I can, but I will ask God for help, and that's all I shall do for now. God bless you and stay safe, we can all do better to help each other, so in the words of the great Barack Obama: Be Useful, Be Kind.
 Peace!