Yesterday we watched a bunch of shows like Steven Universe and Burn Notice and took some stuff down to the consignment shop. I had the *bright* idea of getting a styrofoam head and spraypainting it to make it look cool to display hats on. I never imagined that it would make the styrofoam dissolve. It virtually melted and yeah...not great.
School was good. I went to say hi to my coworker in her new class and she was so unhappy that it was oozing from her pores. I felt so bad for her, but not to the point of volunteering to take her place. Should I have? I think that I perhaps should, but I don't have a direct incentive to do so and it doesn't feel 'right' to change classrooms again like I did last year, which was not my choice directly but very much turned out to be a positive for me.
Maybe I am subconsciously thinking that it will be advantageous for her in some unforeseen ways after she gets over the annoyance and discombobulation of being uprooted from her comfort zone. But that's not something I can know or should have any right to decide. The truth is that I think I am doing well in this class, as in helping kids every day, but also I think a lot of people would be very capable of doing my job.
It's so weird to me that I got paid so little at Fright Made (and other minimum wage jobs) when I worked so hard and did exceptionally well at customer service. Now I think of the students as my customers (not literally) and try to go above and beyond for them whenever I can. The difficult thing with education is that they need to want to learn to make it happen.
I found the kids in the SMART program were more eager to learn than most of these kids, but then again, those were the kids who were doing extra reading voluntarily. When one is working with kids who have behavior issues and learning disabilities it's really important to be able to present lessons and material in different and interesting (fun if possible) ways, and I don't know how to do that necessarily.
I keep thinking someone is going to do some interactive teaching workshops for the groups I work with on innovative instruction ideas during one of those days they say kids are released early for teacher/education professional collaboration, but it hasn't happened yet. Could I start that?
You know, I hope I am making a little difference in someone's life because there are times like today when I feel like I am just helping a couple kids to do the bare minimum of busywork and I was more helpful some days at the drugstore when I found someone the correct vitamin and a coupon to add to it. I'm sure I did some things right today.
I know I did. I was just feeling frustrated that I haven't been working on my kids' book since November writing month and thinking that if I do this job forever that I never will write and illustrate it. But guess what? From what I have read, many authors also work as teachers and they write around their work hours and during the summer. What I really need to do this summer is that, instead of stressing about fussing around working at summer school ( I did it last year because I didn't get that I would get paychecks during the summer from the school year. I still don't totally get that. How does that work anyway? And why didn't they explain it to me in the HR meeting I went to after being hired?)
ANYWAY. Short term plan: sell more stuff at consignment place. Long-term plan: put more effort into your book and artwork because you don't want to be that person who had good ideas but never followed through on them. For inspiration, take a life drawing class or a watercolor class, or any art class because you aren't going to stay good, or get better if you don't. Love yourself, be kind to others and do your best. Make good choices. Peace.
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