Holiday Update

So the hummingbird was right. It did end up snowing. Very pretty. Steven was already off on his adventure to Zona and I spent a lot on champagne, cheese, nice wine, rosemary salty focaccia and Moonbrine pickles at New Seasons grocery store. I also got banana split ice cream and tasty tangerines. I'm continuing watching the show Galavant which is amazing and I wish I had known about it sooner. But it's super fun to binge watch it, which I've been doing all day in between making coffee and (HoneyBaked ham) pecan waffles (and ham) and sleeping... Because I'm still 'with cold' I am needing to sleep and needing to remind myself it's okay to sleep!

I woke up from a mid-morning nap when Steven was clattering around like Santa Claus because he couldn't find things for his trip so I got up to assist and take him to the train. When we were de-icing his electric car the new neighbor came out with her dog Rocky to say hello and I gave him a large slice of ham and he shook my hand on her command which tbh was kind of fantastic. I love it when dogs are trained like people. They are brilliant. I took Steve to the train before it started to rain ice again but later he told me he got a Lyft from the library. That's good because the train may have made him late, but it made me feel guilty that I didn't drive him. But I really was concerned about the roads and am still not feeling well.

I found a long note in my phone and several paper notes sitting about the apartment that are regarding things and sundry so you know, miscellaneous that I can copy here so I will do that tomorrow on Christmas because it is a day of writing after all. Isn't it? Did I say how funny and irreverent Galavant is? It's like the Rennaissance version of Braindead. Political commentary, current cultural pop references like Game of Thrones, and others....it's really fabulous. I think it deserves a re-watch. I thought about going to church this morning and then tonight or tomorrow and I guess it's just not really ingrained in me to do that/ I didn't grow up doing that. So I'm going to light candles and be safe and warm and grateful at home. God Bless you, everyone. Peace.

Merry Christmas Eve Day

++
+So the last week of school before break for holidays/winter time was really busy and interesting too I suppose. I really want to write and publish my book/s so I can be off and running and work part time at school. I waited until break to get sick I have a medium bad low grade cold now. We didn't make it to the school play, instead attending Steve's coworker's Christmas party which was a nice time with good snacks and ping pong games. I didn't know anyone else but I didn't feel excluded because Steve was there for me and didn't ignore me. I wish there had been more dancing and that we weren't relegated to the garage area, but that's okay, it was definitely a fun and friendly gathering. Although, strangely, the one library employee who has ever been kind of rude and snotty to me showed up as the guest of an employee. When I found out What? There was just a tiny red breasted hummingbird flying in my window! Negativity over. Try to think positive now, eh? Poor little tiny cold hummingbird. What is it up to? Is that a 'sign of snow to come'?

We did get to go to the choir concert which was lovely and had a few kids I knew from school performing too.

I gave out all the music CDs I bought in Seattle from my brother-in-law's pipe band to people at work, nicely wrapped by moi, and one to the nice man at the post office. He always has a friendly manner and helps me add up stamps too. I made brownie's from Katharine Hepburn's recipe for the Christmas party, the post office and Garage Sale Warehouse team. Also for our maintenance man Matt, who came to fix the sink. He replaced the bathroom faucet and shared that it also happened to be his birthday so I gifted him the Pickle Rick picture he admired that I had printed out at the library. The drama teacher gave me a huge bottle of beer which I drank that very night (the last day of school) and I asked him to please text me if he goes to school to do clean up and work so I can come help. Hopefully he does because I want to help out more. It's a good feeling to volunteer and I like doing theater related things, whatever they are.

I don't usually get my family (sister and her kids) Xmas gifts, just birthday ones, but this year I sent her something because she had us over for Thanksgiving and all.Just a good Seattle trip mostly, and I thank Steve for that because he kept a mostly positive attitude! We got to ride bikes along the pier and go to an artsy cafe for pie, have some very good pizza and go to an indie cinema to see Three Billboards, which happened to be practically just across the street from the hotel.

The kids at school got to make nachos the last day and I got to take some leftovers home so we had that for yummy supper the next day. There was also some yummy cheese and croissants and grapes that Miss. Susan brought but it wasn't for taking home. I need to get my own cheeses and grapes. But grapes and cheeses that other people bought always taste better and seem more appealing. A-peeling, get it? Ha ha ha. Someone also brought BlueStar donuts the other day, which was nice. And the kids got to make cupcakes for 'life-skills' class. One student keeps showing up with new scratches on his arm and I wish I could encourage him to find a more productive hobby. We watched the Jim Carrey Grinch movie in the last class, which I hadn't seen before, and last night after playing some Harvey Birdman game, Steve and I watched Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, which was great! PEACE!

Mental Health Day

Took today off. It was awesome. Slept late, made breakfast, went back to bed till noon, watched TV (First Dates), ate cereal, made brownies (still baking them), reading some good graphic novel, colored my hair pretty purple. Love that I planned my day off in advance, that I am not on bus duty or working with super needy fragile kids, so I don't feel guilty not being there, and that none of my coworkers seemed to give a shit that I was taking a day for no special reason. Although it is special to me, and I really did need it. Even though work isn't highly challenging every day, it does take a bit of mental and physical energy and I really needed a day to not stress about anyone but myself and sort of relax and re-group. I still want to and intend to transcribe notes I made because some of them are rather insightful and personally interesting, but tonight I am just stopping in to say Hello and Goodnight. Peace.  "The Doctor: Run like hell, because you always need to. Laugh at everything, because it's always funny. Never be cruel and never be cowardly. And if you ever are, always make amends..."

This Doctor didn't say that quote, but it's a great picture!

What has been and What Will Be

I think that's a Walking Dead episode title...On Sunday, Carl was somehow bit, they didn't show it, and though there's speculation that he will live, he is presumed on death's door, though he still looked perfectly normal at the end of the show.

I have been writing things on paper for the past few days, but not taking the time to transcribe them here, so I will catch up with that on my pre-planned day off wonderful Friday.

See you then, and thanks for listening! Peace.

OH My GOD

Another. Another school shooting. Oh for Fuck's sake. Samantha Bee said it best when she said to the lawmakers, nobody needs your thoughts and prayers right now, we need to enact strong gun control.

Today I was cranky because: I was tired, I didn't get my second break, which I almost never do, but I want it, I want to take it, I'm just always in the middle of something and don't feel like I'm able to remove myself from the situation even though I really need to. Also cranky because (mostly) boring assembly, which I think I (and other aides) should have been allowed to skip because I was finishing a paperwork project (so annoying, the label template for the file divider tabs weren't lining up properly, and I was just hating the whole thing because I had to start and stop it several times. I was also thinking about mistakes because the journal prompt was "What is a mistake you made in your life? What do you wish you did differently? What do you regret?"– and usually I help kids write theirs, but today after helping I sat down and wrote out my own answer to the questions. I will share it later because this is really long now...

I hate assigned projects that can't be completed in the time allotted. Hate them. So distracting.) Also cranky because other teacher (s) insist (s) I need to completely log out of a computer before they can use it. They don't seem to get (or don't want to utilize) the 'switch user' option is there for that reason They wanted me to log out, and I've heard that before, and so I wanted to be agreeable and agreed, but they claim that in order to log out you need to log on first with your password. This makes no sense, but they don't seem to get that so I tried to show her what I meant by doing as she asked (slightly patronizingly, so I said please don't condescend. And she said sorry.

Tone of voice can be very important, but I should also have had more of a sense of humor (although, as I said, it was the end of the day, and already cranky...I was Still trying to finish the stupid office project, And had to get to a CPR course (at a different school) I had just signed up for only an hour earlier. After I logged on (remember, this is supposedly so that I can log out), she told me to navigate to the apple icon to log out. I said, well, how aboooot what I usually do, go over here (opposite side of menu bar) to my name (I click on my name and about twenty names of users shows in a drop-down menu) and then I could log out ... or we could just click on your name right here, and you can be logged on! So I did that, because she can undo it if she wanted and whatever.

You want to use the computer, use it, don't be bothering my ass to log out all the fucking time. That's another thing I HATED about the other classroom I was in last year. I didn't have a computer but the other teachers all did. She wouldn't let me use the Chromebook I was given to use, because she was mean, so I had to go on the PC to try to read email and then the second I went to do something else or help a kid somebody logged me out.

Somebody being whatserface. Grrrrrrr. That dumb office project made me be late to start reading to my student, it made me not be able to help other student study the chem flash cards I made them, and I just want to work with the kids when they are around and give them attention if they want/need it, and not do office work. I also had to stop doing the journals to start doing that, so I had to leave that unfinished although someone else was able to finish it later, then I was making some progress and our sub from last year popped in and started chatting at me about school funding and I wanted to scream because he was just distracting me from trying to get the labels to print correctly.

 I can't concentrate on office work when there's people around blabbing either. I definitely do it best by myself, and it's so frustrating to have to start and stop repeatedly or have to ignore someone because I am trying to finish the thing. And then my associate who had wanted me to log out of the PC (I had said afterward I was sorry I was cranky but it was that least favorite task assignment that was making me nuts) offered to help me finish it, and I was really grateful because no one else had offered, but she didn't really help, but I felt emotionally supported for a minute and that was meaningful.

Barb seems to be cold to me lately but she is probably going through stuff outside of work, like how I saw Patsy at the CpR and after talking with her found out about her daughter having cancer that was almost misdiagnosed (she's fine, everything good now). Just sayin', you can't know stuff by looking at people and if someone seems indifferent or unfriendly to you, it is most likely because of things going on in their own personal lives so try not to take it as being about you...

I am sitting here complaining and trying to think of some positive things about today that perhaps arose out of the annoying/bad stuff: I am now CPR certified (doesn't seem like a three-hour class would be enough to qualify for that, but it is), since we were in the library at the elementary school I looked through some books and found a really cool one called How You Talk by Paul Showers (1966) who (I found out) wrote a LOT of books for Let's-Read-and-Find-Out Science series after already having had an extended journalism career. I just have one more thing positive to say for now, and it's quotes I copied from Sandra Cisneros's book The House On Mango Street that the class is 'reading' (listening to) right now: "Just remember to keep writing, it will keep you free!" and "I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much."                                                Peace.

Wander through Wensdee

Yah so, Let's see. A student actually inspired me by playing me a video of the scene with the song from Tangled movie where she does a ton of chores and tasks and hobbies and organizes everything. I joked that she had ADHD and was on Adderall. So I really got on with it when I came home and got stuff together to sell and put price tags on things (books, records, jacket, boots, posters...) and looked up LP prices and cleaned and made notations in our log book and printed labels, etcetera, etcetera. Tried to use a stain cleaning pen on the free chairs so they looked nicer and went through the Christmas stuff bag... Finished wrapping up Amtrak T-shirt for Uncle Wolf and little kid's Amtrak train conductor classic outfit for nephew for an extra late birthday present. Cleaned the washer and dryer a little bit and Steve helped hang up some Xmas lights I found in the laundry room. They look cool. I love Christmas lights so much, I should go buy some so it's more cheery around here during Winter Time to help escape the Winter Time Blues. Steve brought home Little Caesar's and we watched South Park which was very political satire and then Broad City which was very funny.

Wildfires: terrifying.
Gun violence: continuing.
Sexism: ongoing (but #MeToo is Time Magazine's 'Person of the Year'.)

I should write more about work because I don't really mean for this to turn into my diary of only personal stuff. I had an opportunity and I took it to sit at a desk and use a PC to finally look through almost two months of unread e-mails (you are supposed to be checking your email everyday, which I was never able to do comfortably last year without getting nasty looks or weird comments, because I was supposed to be staring at my student every second of the day from 6:30 on...[I'm being a little sarcastic] and I can do it here so I should get in the habit of doing it.) And then after the buses left early we are scheduled to have time for conference or study, and I watched some TED talks on education while I went through the deleted e-mails and replied to some and printed out one important one I had archived that was from the principal and re-iterated that classified staff are supposed to have breaks and need to take our breaks, G-dammit. I found out that I missed a few free yoga classes, and some yummy food on sale, and a concert by a band that the band teacher and one of the vice principals play together in! So really, you can miss out if you skip the emails. Honestly, it was mostly stuff that was not vital to me.

However, I should really take one of the CPR/First Aid classes that are offered for staff, and get my flu shot, and take more online classes. And attend the information session next week about how to get more training to possibly become a teacher or a licensed sub (make more money and get to do more teaching). I am trying to be really observant when I remember to, of the classroom teachers to see what kind of questions they ask the class to answer and  when they lead and guide them in certain directions where they are going, I suspect that some of it is right from the instructor's discussion guide, like the notes in the margins of the teacher's editions, but a lot of it is from instinct and just teaching experience. I have noticed that when I sometimes interject something to contribute that they will almost seamlessly repeat what I said without acknowledging me, and other times I am totally ignored. So I feel overall that I am doing what I should be doing most of the time. I feel less out of water here and now than I did in the other classroom. Although after I was transferred after Spring Break I was really happy in that class, except for the rotating teacher subs...so I really should just admit that my old teacher had a problem and it really wasn't me but her. Durrr. So. Peace and Love.
P.S. I said something pretty deadpan sarcastic today about how we teachers would eat all the cookies the kids baked to teach the lesson that life isn't fair and one kid (who is sometimes nice but sometimes a total ass) looked at me in surprise and exclaimed that he didn't know I was so smart. I thought Huh. So that's all it took to impress this kid. Be my own sarcastic self. Teenagers are weird. I miss working with the little kids sometimes. Seriously. Peace.

Toozdee

Ah! I forgot to listen to Crabfeast today!
Not as tired today.
Helped in theater by painting a sign for the play (3 hours) after school. They said it looked good!
Steve got us some delicious Thai food and we are watching Lethal Weapon show. About Elvis.
And DC Legends of Tomorrow. The fishies are doing well. Today they had air bubble baths.
A student confided in me some personal stories,  about how her father died some years ago and I shared that I had a very similar experience...I guess it just reminded me how much I miss him and how I still want to talk to someone/s about my personal traumas. God Bless and Peace be with you.

P.S. More people are coming forward to the press about sexual harassment allegations against famous politicians and celebrities.
P.P.S. There's a vast wildfire raging in California....again....this time southern areas. It started late last night and swiftly burned thousands of acres and homes because of strong Santa Ana winds. Evacuations happened as quickly as possible.

                                                               

Mundane Monday

So Tired today. Couldn't believe it was 6:44 when I woke up. It was dark as night outside and very cold. Drank coffee at work. History class was fun when we got to draw versions of hieroglyphics. Acting was fun when the students performed their rehearsed group performances. Math was fun when we did budgeting and coloring worksheets. Study hall was fun when I helped a kid with fractions and another with a Rosa Parks presentation. Our student who uses a wheelchair was absent so I didn't have to do changing duty. There were two nice cushioned chairs being thrown out near the apartment dumpster so I put them in the laundry room for storage until I could take them to the "store" to sell...

I skipped art club even though I really do want to paint more on the mural project. But again, so tired. I still need to improve my diet and exercise habits. They are pretty poor. That contributes to my tiredness I am sure. But it's a lot about the weather and that we did so much this past weekend. You know how if it's your day off you can sleep in sometimes? I slept until at least nine or ten both days. And that doesn't sound super late, but it's 3 or 4 hours later than usual during school days.

Watched a show I haven't seen since season 1 last year called Lucifer which was really good and now Blue Planet II: Coasts, and I am so surprised by what I am seeing. First of all, how did they get all of these underwater shots? (A lot is filmed by drones, but are there underwater drones?) And second, why does it all look like some amazing animated film? The sea urchins, starfish, limpets, eels and crabs! It's just causing me to shout at the computer! The way they live and eat and hunt and search for food. Their cunning and stealth are impressive and fascinating to watch. I'm glad we are checking it out. I have only seen bits of it when we're watching Gogglebox. So I came directly home after work with a list of things to do but decided to have a snack and lay down and read Twitter news/updates first and have a nap. I was awoken 2 or 3 hours later by a dream telling me there was someone at the door.

There was; it was Steve's sister's mom coming by to pick up her pans she ordered from QVC and had sent here for some reason. She was working as an Uber driver and just used the bathroom and chatted for a minute and left. I felt like a sleepy zombie and was super hungry so I made eggs and cheese on tortilla and went back to bed to eat and watch TV. Sometimes in order to regroup and reboot you need to act like you're sick and just do self-care nurturing things. Like stay in bed and drink 7-Up and hot tea and eat soup and watch movies and read books and rest. OR take a walk in nature and eat salad and green juice. OR whatever works. I love taking walks and bike rides in nature, but I also really love watching TV and listening to podcasts and s l e e p i n g. I hope all is peaceful and well with you. PEACE.

Saturday was chill, Sunday Work

So today we took all the stuff to the place and did all the things: Price tagging and making item #s. And finally arranging the area. It took like six hours. Steve got me some nice wine and we ordered pizza. He also had a brilliant idea for my children's book. We watched Simpsons and SMILF. Peace!

Friday is Finally Upon Us

I forgot to say yesterday how I did a good job (I believe) of helping a gal out after she became so upset that she shouted F-YOU!! to the class and stormed out. She was really upset and I found her in the bathroom and later after I talked to her and made her a cup of tea (all classrooms should have tea available, seriously)she asked how I knew she would be in there and I sort of made something up that sounded reasonable but not patronizing because the real answer was duh, where else would a girl go in that circumstance? Anyway, all was well eventually.

I am trying to engage my coworkers more actively when I see them because we all work so independently of one another that there's not a lot of time for conversation or information sharing. And they don't really like to text questions and support like my last class did. It  really felt like a 'long' week after only two days of work before vacation time last week, and I was like, out of clean clothes, so wore a weird (sort of) outfit today, which had me a bit discombobulated, so when I had the opportunity to ask our department head (a gal) for a hug, I did. She's pretty supportive of everyone so I didn't think she'd say no, or I would not have asked. I really just don't get (or give, and that's on me) enough hugs. Actually, I did give at least three people little hugs today and they didn't seem to mind. Maybe I'm supposed to give more hugs in order to receive more. I mean, like consensual and platonic same-sex hugs. Not weird sexual harassment hugs.

I got to help out rearranging the room and do some file organizing which is always a fun challenge, and secure an extra desk from a friendly custodian who spoke German. I skipped drama in order to come home and start loading what to sell into the car and discovered some great items near the dumpster as give away things. I got a table and a folding laundry hamper that would work perfectly for an art print sale display. I also met the newest neighbors and their pretty dog called Rocky.

Here's to success and prosperity in our new venture, to getting extra rest for a productive upcoming week, and to helping others whenever we can. Be good, be safe and most of all be Peace.

Thank God it's Thursday

The day went by quite fast...After school I worked on another sign for theater. Now we are going to eat pizza. I hope it's good, it took an extra long time to deliver it. Peace.

Wednesday Feels Like Thursday

The week feels so s-l-o-w....So there was a fire drill. I got some nice cloud sky photos. I helped in the theater for a few hours with set design by helping paint a sign. Listened to more murder podcast while I added yarn ties to the price tags I made yesterday. Watched more Lethal Weapon show. Read half of The Study in Pink Sherlock manga while on library duty. Got a text from neighbor saying I could have whatever she didn't take already. Made macaroni and cheese from scratch. More sexual harassment allegations causing resignations and firings in the entertainment industry in the news. It's reportedly snowing in Hawaii. There's new car technology with hydrogen-powered vehicles. Peace.

How I Married an Axe Murderer

Just kidding. I listened to the My Favorite Murder podcast for the first time after hearing one of the anchors on The Crabfeast and it was funny and pretty cool I guess. Very disturbing material but presented in a somehow entertaining way. Which is weird too I guess. Now I'm watching Lethal Weapon show. I started making tags for the garage sale stuff. They said they should be unique so I glued sheet music to file folders for backing and cut them up and punched holes and cut string to tie through the holes...I hope it works out okay. I might rubber stamp them too.

We missed going to see Bill Murray downtown because I didn't feel like making the effort. I need extra sleep during the cold rainy winter time.

I noticed that I got the extra character limit on Twitter, but I'm not sure if everyone has it now or not. I'll have to ask Steve to check his account and see.

I had a dream last night that I was drawing a lady in pastel and then was going to draw Luis Guzman so I got out my old pastels and tried to draw him. I would share a picture but I honestly don't know how to get one from my phone to the desktop. Maybe later when I'm on the laptop I can. It's not bad, it's not great, okay for not having drawn in a while. Peace.

Case of the Mondays

Had a Blah day. Watching Frankie Drake Mysteries. Steven brought home a frozen pizza! Read about Katsushi Hokusai today. A very interesting life of an artist. Just very glad the work day is done. Peace

Well, We Did It...

Remember how I've been complaining about the clutter in our apartment, in my life? To help alleviate that and also help my sister deal with our mom's stuff that has been in storage for ten years, we signed up for a space at The Garage Sale Warehouse. I had enough left over from my paycheck from our trip to Seattle to pay the initial rent of first and last. It means I can't buy us random stuff or Christmas gifts, but this means we can start a retail venture of being entrepreneurs in a way. We will have a space to sell whatever we want to. Our main jobs are going to be organization and display and tagging stuff in a clear and unique way. Everything needs to end in seventy-nine cents.

We got lunch at A&W/KFC mash up restaurant near The Warehouse, and although the onion rings were pretty great (but not as good as Burgerville) the burger tasted like it was microwaved from frozen and couldn't hold a candle to Dick's in Seattle. I hope I tipped satisfactorily at the hotel we stayed in because it was so quirky I would definitely want to return to it someday and be welcomed back.

We are binge-watching The Good Place and it is really funny and cool. I highly recommend it.
We often watch The Big Bang Theory, which I remember starting to watch in its freshman season on the internet sporadically... but we haven't seen it lately so maybe it will be one of those shows we watch in repetition during the holiday break from school.

We went shopping at Fred Meyer's tonight and in the parking lot was a kid from a class I'm assigned to clearing shopping carts and I said hello and found some extra respect for him for working so hard the night before he had to go back to school. I was also reminded of that boy I had a brief affair with who was working at a Fred Meyer's...because I was lonely and horny and I guess he was too. Weird.

That's pretty personal, but it's honest. I might detail my affairs someday here, because even though they were all weird in a way, at least I wouldn't forget them if I wrote them down. I probably did in journals somewhere, but that's the problem with paper journals is that they can become misplaced or lost.

Anyway, when we were at The Garage Sale Warehouse I was planning on just getting the space and leaving, but they had several to choose from so we had to decide and then there was so much great stuff to see and look at and I ended up buying some comic books for me and a Spider-Man for my nephew and a Wonder Woman for my niece (to go with the Wonder Woman socks I got her for late birthday present— I forgot her birthday this year! Because of being busy with school and extracurricular activities and getting my friend in California's present ready for her!) and...some cool records that someone had. I got: Carthage Christmas 1981, Dean Martin Everybody Loves Somebody, The Queen City Jazz Band of Denver, Colorado, "Charade" music from the motion picture by Henry Mancini, The Funny Side of The... Smothers Brothers, Those Lazy-Hazy-Crazy Days of Summer Nat King Cole. I think my dad had the Nat King Cole one and the Dean Martin one. I almost got a Tony Bennett one that I already had but wanted another copy of, but it was scratched so I didn't get it.

Thanks to YouTube now we're watching Portal music videos because the songs are really good. Earlier we saw the Seth Meyers holiday family special which had Fred Armisen on drums in the band and is always really full of warm fuzzy laughs. Back to school tomorrow. Be Good. Love and Peace.

Notes and Sundries

I don't procrastinate because I don't like working, I procrastinate because I don't know how to organize myself to do things in a timely manner. I am trying to improve that by keeping promises to myself like writing here as much as possible and doing things I am supposed to do. I love to work and keep busy and do projects and complete assignments. I am not a lazy individual. Different menial jobs I have worked at have given me grief for this in one way or another. I like working in education so much because you always have something to do to keep busy and it's usually interesting or helpful.

One of my Thanksgiving gratitudes was for working at a school so I could have weekends and holidays off. It's so amazing and people who have never worked jobs where they don't get those luxuries probably can't appreciate it.

We went to Seattle for Thanksgiving and brought our bicycles on the train which I was a little doubtful about because I didn't know what the weather would be like, but it turned out to be a pretty great idea overall. It made it a lot easier than walking or driving to travel around and stop whenever we wanted to and get from the station to the hotel and back.


I was seeing pizza places all over, which is going to be part of the book I want to write, and I was wanting to stop at them or take pictures or write them down, but we didn't have all that much time so I thought I could look them up later, or possibly go back there with just doing that in mind.
This whole thing is going to be pedestrian and sophomoric in the future. (I was just thinking about typing and taking pictures and making notes). In the future we are going to have built-in 'cameras' that can help us go back to a memory of a place that we could see in our 'mind's eye' and literally bring it up like a still shot on a screen and print it or send it to someone with the blink of an eye...I have read at least two sci-fi fiction books that have something really similar to this as a feature in their future worlds. I hope those who celebrate it had a very nice Thanksgiving time. Peace!

Vacation

Going to Seattle for Thanksgiving holiday. I am on vacation. Last time I really went anywhere was a couple years ago to the Weird Al concert in Bend, Oregon. Steve and I drove there in the van and slept a night in a parking lot near the outdoor concert venue. This time we are taking the train with our bicycles (my bright idea). Safe travels! Peace!

http://www.john-wiese.com

Nice Things

I did a nice thing and some nice things happened too. I gave a pretty potted flowering plant to our nice school secretary. Later I got a compliment on my hair from a student (I think they were being serious) and a colleague commented my 'outfit' was reminiscent of Annie Hall. Not in those words, but I felt it was complimentary. I also got a couple compliments on my Doctor Strange t-shirt, which was great because I like it so much and it's really comfortable. And glow in the dark too.

We went to the gym and I did stretches which there's no room to do at home that felt good, but then I lifted some weights and now I feel sore already. They have the dirtiest air filter vents at the gym. I wish they would change/clean them.

It struck me that there is a certain schadenfreude in working at a high school. I am glad to go there and grateful that I don't have tests and homework and peer pressure/stress or social anxiety. But it wouldn't be a school without all the students who have to deal with that. It's like a factory that's not totally unpleasant to be in, but at the same time it's like a job for them to show up and work (learn, study and regurgitate information all on a timeclock.) Mostly I am glad that I don't have to sit at a desk in a room all the time but have the freedom to roam a bit, and that I don't have to carry around a heavily laden bag on my back everywhere I go. I have a home base and I can leave my stuff there if I have any, which I usually don't.

Today we got to watch about twenty minutes of The Maltese Falcon, which is one of my favorite movies ever. I've read it, I've seen it with both my mom and dad separately, I have a very strong affinity for every part of it. It was nostalgic to see it after so many years. I remembered mom and I getting a pouch of the Bull Durham tobacco to try to roll into cigarettes like Humphrey Bogart did. I'm pretty sure I named a pet or two Humphrey after him too.

Two boys were speaking in Spanish and I couldn't understand but recognized some swear words and wondered if I should tell them to cool it. I probably should have. I better refresh my Spanish and learn how to say 'Cool it!'. I could say "Silencio" or "¡Cállate ya!" or "tranquillo!" I don't know which is best.

Agh! What did I do to the font? OKay, well, that's cool. This is fine. Oh, I also got to take a free short computer class after school and the bank wouldn't cash my check which put a decided damper on the concept of 'payday'. OH yeah, now Charlie Rose, whose interviews Ma and I used to enjoy, especially the ones with movie actors and film directors, is out of a job due to many women saying he is a sexual predator. Wow. What an asshole. Let's be kind to one another, eh? Watch Doctor Who and be good to your friends and family and nice to strangers. Don't take advantage of people, and try to laugh a lot. And dance.Try to remember to dance. Peace sisters and brothers, mothers and fathers, cousins and friends. PEACE.

Sunday Mellow Day

Meant to do a couple of things, but didn't do much of anything. I was sitting outside reading a Doctor Who graphic book and neighbor Doug (who we went to New Year's Eve at the game museum shop with) came along to do laundry and sat down to chat. He showed me his old high school yearbook from Benson Polytechnic in Portland and some other neat old pictures. I encouraged him to apply as a teaching assistant because he's in between jobs and doesn't wish to return to being a pharmacy worker.

Took a nap. Received our delivery from Safeway of mostly crackers and a few other things. Was going to color my hair but the package had lightener I had to use first and then wash out so I just did that part. It's very uneven and funny looking but I can wear a scarf or hat to school. Tomorrow or the next day is payday and I need to try and be judicious with how I spend it so I have some money for Steve for the holidays and for his birthday later too. Not the easiest thing when you only get paid once a month and need groceries and want to go to Costco and see a few movies and buy clothes...!

I'm getting fatter and plumper as I continue to neglect doing exercises. That makes me sad.

I need to make a doctor appointment about a few skin issues that are bugging me, like the numbing itching on my leg. I am still taking my prescribed back pills but not as consistently as directed. It was easier when I had a sheet which instructed on how many to take at what time of day, and I was checking it off each time, but since my back injection, it's only one pill three times a day, which is for some reason more difficult to do...? A pharmacist said I could break them in half and slowly lower my dosage, which sounds like a good idea, and the doctor said don't just stop taking them, as I had to build up to taking more and more I would have to do a similar method in decreasing it. The only issue is doing it regularly and keeping track of it so I'm not going up and down.

Watching Hawaii Five-0. Made some Red Lobster biscuits from a box mix, even though I didn't have the correct amount of cheese and butter. They are on the dry side, but not bad! Ate three myself.

I packaged up the Jeff Foxworthy holiday CD with book I got from Marilyn to send to Uncle Wolf, so I hope he likes it! I read the book to Steve, it was amusing, there were a lot of  'You might be a redneck if...' sayings and 2 Christmas parody songs.

Saturday Chill Day

Well, it feels like we didn't really do anything today, but I guess we did a lot. Renewed Costco membership and said hello to some people from school at the holiday craft bazaar, went to Starbucks, the Apple store and Winco and Ross. Came home and ordered Pizza Hut for tonight and Safeway groceries to be delivered tomorrow. And now we are watching Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency. Oh, I took out the garbage and recycling and changed the bed sheets. Good chores to get done. It's almost Thanksgiving, and I am doing something I haven't done for years...Steve is taking us to Seattle on a train trip, with our bikes so we can ride to our hotel. I am praying for good weather.

Peace.

Feelings

I'm angry and frustrated and came home and slept for six hours and maybe I will write about it later but I'm emotional and feel like crying and breaking things. I want to write one good thing so I will say that it was a coworker's birthday and she shared her chocolate cake. Goodnight and be well. Peace.

CNN 10

At school, we have to watch CNN10. It's about ten minutes worth of world news with some trivia and human interest stories. Sometimes there's a focus on science, sometimes it's politics and once in a while food or art. Today there was a special segment on professional Japanese mochi makers. It was very cool.

I was mainly with our wheelchair assisted student today so I got to go to his film class and watch half of Casablanca. Unfortunately, he wasn't sounding like he was feeling well so we left early to wait for the other student in the hall where it was more calm and quiet before going to the nurse for afternoon changing.

Remember Doc Martin? It's like one of my top favorite shows ever since I discovered it but it was off the air for over a year so I thought (or had read) that it was canceled. Well, not canceled, but had been brought to its inevitable conclusion in the last season finale. However, there is a season eight and it's all done and I am contentedly on episode three currently.

I accidentally eavesdropped on a young woman in the theater saying to her friend that she wasn't conventionally attractive enough to be preyed upon by a random creep. I thought about it and then decided I had to say something lest she go around thinking that to be true so I apologized for interrupting and gave her an off the cuff mini-speech about how predators work based on my years of experience watching shows, reading books, and living life, and also let her know that she was quite beautiful. And I suggested she could take a free women/teen self-defense class to feel confident. She could even take it with her mom who was the one (I overheard this part) who was concerned with her walking by herself. I think I know enough to give a talk to classes about the subject. Maybe I should volunteer as an assistant to the women's self-defense classes. I am really grateful that they provide them for free and that I got to take two of them.

Another very rainy day. More celebrities and politicians accused of sexual abuse and harassment in the news. Still no word from our neighbor who moved suddenly and asked us to pack up some stuff for her. I am going to contact someone she had call me once and see if they know anything about the situation. There's a horrific human slave trade of refugees from Nigeria in Libya according to a CNN news report, it's terrifying and I am grateful to be living here and be free as I can be. Peace to you.

NOte: Today is the 19th and this was supposed to have posted on the 16th.

And the Band Played On!

We got to see the band play last night, how great! They ranged from kind of rusty to incredibly wonderful! Made me wish there were still places where you could go dance to live music like that. One of the best trumpet players resembled Michael Buble

I've got notes on my phone that are vague and I don't know what they mean. I think they are various websites and things to research for classes.

I had a good day because I took all my breaks and walked home in the rain and had snack and coffee and tea and cigarettes. And because I did some calming tasks in between helping kids like my coloring page and cutting out some pictures which helped me to de-stress and not pressure them to do work but just to be ready to help them when they needed it. I also remembered to do some deep breathing when I reminded a student how to do some calming techniques. And I got to have some unexpected reading time with the student I have been reading with and she didn't want to read today so I read and she listened, which I enjoy of course, and we read a story about a little boy in Mexico who loved a horse so much that he made a clay sculpture of her and other adventures. I definitely wish we could incorporate a few minutes of stretching and mindfulness meditation to help students (and us) on a regular basis to feel comfortable in their bodies and confident in their minds.

I took almost a four-hour nap when I got home. I needed it after attending play practice and hanging up positivity notes in the girl's bathrooms I was at school until six and then we went back for the band concert at seven and then I went to Plaid and got a pretty good pinot that I ended up drinking all of. So I didn't go to sleep until after midnight when I'd been getting to bed closer to ten recently.

It's been a very cold and rainy day. All day. We also read the book that I love very much called Rainy Sunday by Eleanor Schick. The Horse and the Boy book also had a torrential rain scene in it, which was cool. I looked up the author today and discovered that the author attended Julliard school of dance and was also a dance teacher We tried to look up the other author and could only find one other title listed for her about a twirly skirt...  Eleanor Schick kind of my dream life, if I had had the understanding to know how to follow my dreams and not crush them before I even tried. I would like to read more about her life. I also really admire Zilpha Keatley Snyder and Beverly Cleary and Ellen Raskin. It's cool that Raskin wrote The Westing Game and Keatley Snyder wrote The Egypt Game. And I love that they use their real names unlike (*ahem) Rowling, who did the thing where you use initials so people think you may be a man. Ergh!! It's fucked up, isn't it? Because more people have heard of her and she made millions more dollars. Meh. No matter. I want to emulate my idols and learn from those I love and respect and admire.

If I could be writers like them I would be the happiest person in the world! A lot of authors of kids' books are also teachers so I am on the right path so far, even though it wasn't specifically planned beforehand. It is still something I am learning how to do: be more confident and do my best which is damn good enough, and also resurrect my dreams of dancing and music and art and writing. And honor my mom and dad by following through with it. Be dedicated to taking baby steps every day.

There have been more mass shootings in the past couple of weeks in the United States, in Texas and California. The lack of gun control and the pervasive easy acquisition of firearms is reprehensible and a constant mental disturbance upsetting the possibility of Peace via our collective subconscious.

I saw an old note I had from an interview with Narduwar where he mentioned the Association for Research and Enlightenment (A.R.E.) which I finally looked up tonight, and it seems like something I would really like a lot. It sounds like The Tao of Pooh too. They are in Virginia and that, I discovered, being the geographically challenged person that I am, is south of the state of Ohio, where Uncle Gene lives! Peace be unto you.

Art and Inspiration

It's really a shame that I didn't take advantage of having a free art museum membership when I was at school to actually set up in the museum and try to practice painting from the artwork there. Sometimes being shy is such bullshit. I say shy, I don't know if that's the term for it. Social anxiety? Caring what people do or think when you can't control it? Being self-conscious? I guess that's it.

So it was really great to go to the art museum the other day and have a nice time and feel like I still want to be a painter, I just need to do it. I miss it so much, but not the cleanup part. That's why I always wanted a studio space where I could leave all my messy art shit around and just take care of what I was working on. You know what my favorite thing I painted was, besides my life drawing (clothed figure drawing) in crayon and pencil was? And besides my drippy loose oil wash figure paintings on paper? And besides the Lautrec (Renoir?) four plate etchings? And besides the large format matte self-portrait 'scenes from a movie' stills (home invasion/abused)? It was definitely and undeniably the self-portrait as a Vermeer painting at the piano in oil, oversized. God, I miss having that big space to paint in even though it wasn't designated for me because of the stupid fucking rule about illustration majors not getting painting studio space. What kind of bullshit was that?? But did I complain loud and proud to whom it counted? No, so I never will know if a difference that would have made. Maybe not. Fuck. I also really enjoyed painting my sister's wedding portrait although it didn't turn out super fantastic, I enjoyed creating it.

So it was a good feeling when I got to join the women (they are all young women) in the afterschool art group to see what kinds of projects they were doing, and talk to them about their pieces. I thought about drawing, but I enjoyed talking to them, and I figure that maybe like the SMART program, it might just be a good thing sometimes to have someone (an adult who's not a family member) around to talk to or just to pay you some attention. They are smart gals doing some really interesting drawings and other multimedia work. Very nice to see! I wish I could work on the mural some more though. Just need to find the times when I'm not busy working and the teacher is there so the room is open. And hopefully, some of the students in the art club will be interested in helping complete it. I think that murals should be done by the people in the community if possible, and definitely are by their nature group projects. Yay! Peace.

I Think It Was A Good Day

I think it was a pretty good day. I had an idea about my book; essentially to make it into four separate books because I can't decide on which plot to choose.

I saw the teacher like three times without a chance to talk which is good because it took me that long to figure out what I was going to say ( I didn't want to apologize per se, but I did want to express that I wanted to move on and forget about the weirdness from last week). So it turns out that she wanted to say sorry to me. Which was unexpected at the time but then later I understood. I told her how I still felt embarrassed about my unprofessional behavior. But she pee-shawed that and said I was just having feelings. I thanked her and added that it had been a rough day. I didn't share that I don't always feel appreciated and that I don't get any hugs at school anymore and that makes me sad, because you can't change that so there's not any reason to complain about it. So I guess I feel better. I do.

I just had cheese and apple toasted sandwich and it was delicious, but I'm still hungry...I watched the show SMILF which is written and directed by the beautiful and intelligent creative woman who also stars in it. The show is based on a film she did for Sundance Festival. I think Steve would love it too.

Frankie Shaw and Rosie O'Donnell

Congratulations

I hereby congratulate myself on having enough consistency and determination to accomplish the 'publishing' of more than 100 blog posts in a matter of months. Congratulations self. If you want some encouragement and support, and it's not forthcoming from elsewhere, just do it yourself. There is NOTHING wrong with giving some love and positive feedback and compliments to your own self.

I've made a ton of mistakes and been setback a lot but going to the art museum yesterday and chatting to the guard, Sam, who was there the whole time I went to school there, about how weird that it's gone, made me remember that I was really lucky to go there, even if I fucked up a lot and didn't take advantage of all the things I could have, and wished that were different. I still am learning and making advancements, though slowly. Like, a healthy bit of criticism, I still cannot touch type. And I have not been taking drawing classes and writing classes like I should be. Then again, I am not the everyday drunk person I was, and my back is healing, even though I am not exercising daily.

Good, no, Great job self. You are trying. I am proud of you for this. Fuck all those people who don't believe in participation awards. They suck and just want other people to have low self-confidence so they don't succeed. Participation is important. And so is teamwork and just showing up and being on time. It counts. IT's important. You count. I count. Love yourself. Be confident because you are good enough! Peace.

Tracy Hooper our guest speaker at DfS

The Simpsons!

I'm just watching The Simpsons while I catch up on typing from the last few days. This one is about Marge running for mayor of Springfield. One day we played a lot of great YouTube classical music including The Danish Symphony performing a Star Wars Suite (with subtitles for the introductions) and a few different versions of Peter and the Wolf, one which had some very cool puppets and Sting (in puppet form) as the narrator. I was looking for an adaptation that Weird Al Yankovic made but there was a note it was out of print and could only find a tiny clip of it.

I finally received my new ID at work (that I had lost and needed to pay for a replacement) and had been wondering what was taking so long, and then a couple days later I found my old one in the kitchen tucked into a food container being used as a vitamin tray on the counter. So I can leave it at school to have as an extra one, which is nice to have, I suppose.

I know I already talked about how I was crying on Thursday (and came right home instead of going to the drama club meeting, but who has a club meeting after school when it's a three day weekend anyway?) and at home I was still so upset that I pounded the door with the side of my fist, not so much that it hurt me or the door, but that it made a loud boom and we don't have neighbors  on either side right now, and Deb upstairs wasn't home yet from work, so she wouldn't wonder what was going on...I really wanted to yell and scream, but it's not very safe to do that where people might hear you. I wish there was a way to circumvent it, like when I could go into the walk-in freezer at Wal Mart and yell my head off until I felt better.

I thought a student was either very poor or homeless then I read she said she has horses, so I don't think that's true anymore, though I don't know anything about her personal life for certain anyway.

There was a lot of blood in a toilet and s little on the seat, and I was like, ew gross, why didn't they flush it? Were they too grossed out? Did they want to gross other people out? So I did a good deed that nobody will ever know about and flushed it thoroughly so at least the custodian wouldn't have to see that. Not that he would. Maybe I should have waited to see how long it would stay there. No, that's just as weird as the person who didn't flush it in the first place.

We drove across town so I could attend the Dress for Succes 'Professional Women's Group' meeting and then go see 9 to 5. And we weren't necessarily going to Wordstock for the readings, but I really wanted to take Steve to the art museum, where some events were, so I hoped we could do that too. The speaker was Tracy Hooper who was a very upbeat (Jane Fonda like if you will) woman of a certain age who talked us through her powerpoint of Growing Confidence. She had us stand up and do a little role-playing and at the end, I won a box of pretty soaps in the raffle. I was excited and did a little Whoopdy Doo dance. One of the many interesting things she suggested was attempting to remove the word "Sorry" from your vocabulary, as women tend to say it all too much and it is unnecessary most of the time. She said you can replace sorry with a form of Thank you, as in thank you for your patience. Love and Peace.

Fridayyyy Free Dayyyy!

I went to the gym last night instead of taking a nap and did so many arm workouts! It was good but made me so sore that I couldn't sleep. I literally kept tossing and turning. I was also worried and thinking so much about what happened yesterday. I was concerned about a student who in my estimation was on drugs. He had physical and mental signs of it, but they were subtle. I had wanted to talk to the teacher about it but never had a quiet opportunity. And then at the end of the day there were three people in the room discussing someone else and I was on my way out, but just was going to wipe the table first and the teacher told me to just leave it, but I was like, uh, I just sprayed this paper towel and am about to wipe the table, which would take about five seconds, and my eyes just watered up and I left the room and then she came out and said they were talking about some student and it was confidential. I said, in the time it took you to stop me and tell me that, I could have wiped the table off and been out of their way. Also, if it was so private they shouldn't have started their meeting until I was done. Also, of course I respect student confidentiality and would not repeat anything I hear. Also, they were only saying the student was chronically late, which I was already well aware of. I didn't tell her all that, I was embarrassed that I was crying. But she can speak rudely and harshly often and has even made a kid or two cry, so I wasn't feeling like she was being mean to me personally, just that she wasn't being reasonable and spoke thoughtlessly. I also had a negative experience with another kid who acts like he hears voices and is talking back to them and will rarely respond when spoken to. I think he is exhibiting signs of schizophrenia, but obviously I don't have any clinical knowledge about that, and it could be the way he presents his autism. Though I don't even know for sure he has autism. They don't really tell us details about students, or else maybe they don't know. He reminds me of someone who has had a serious concussion and is very forgetful and dazed and unsure who people are or what words mean anymore. I feel both worried about him and upset that I don't know how to work with him. He doesn't seem to mind being read to so I could do that. But when he is in class he is expected to do what everyone else is doing and it's just so tiring and frustrating to try to get him to do that. I guess I shouldn't work with him if he drives me that nuts. I pick up on his weird energy and it makes me feel all buzzy. I hope that makes sense somehow.

Today was a free day and I used it to sleep. It's the observation of Veteran's day which is really tomorrow the eleventh. Steve put on Red Dwarf for me, which I thought was not on anymore, or just repeats, but turns out there was a reboot like over twenty years later and it's new and improves, and I really, really liked it! Very funny and cool space show. Red Dwarf XII is very good stuff! They even referenced Doctor Who by saying Wibbly Wobbly Time thingy, which made me laugh since Doctor Who also underwent a major reboot transformation. And is coming back next year with the first ever female Doctor Who! I mean, that is really massively exciting news. When I'm sad, I need to remind myself of that! Another British time-travel comedy that we have been watching is called Zapped. It's very creative and unusual. Taking place in an alternate dimension that is magical and also reminiscent of Medieval times, a not so bright office worker called Brian has gone through a wormhole and is having adventures while camped out at the local pub with his new mates, sometimes attempting to find a way back home.

Tomorrow I get to go to a meeting again at Dress for Success, and to see 9 to 5! I hope. PEACE.

Gosh Almighty

Our neighbor with the cool bird moved out suddenly and we helped her by scavenging and salvaging items from her apartment that she didn't know about and couldn't look through herself. We found a bunch of cool stuff that I couldn't believe she didn't want, so we packed it up and moved it into the laundry room and our apartment. Books, cameras, art supplies, etc. You could say hoarding, but also just a life full of collecting and hobbies. Not unlike our own apartment. We retrieved two small bookshelves and two nice chairs which we really could use, and Steve got an unopened Target shoe shelf organizer that I (sort of) enjoyed assembling last night.

When I was looking at the emails the other day I also saw one from Laurelhurst theater in Portland. I haven't been there for years. I must have signed up for their email list long ago...But I saw that they are showing one of my favorite 80's movies, 9-5, this week! And it is perfect timing to go and see it after my Dress for Success meeting! I hope it works out and Steve wants to go with me.

This kid at school really made me mad when he was blatantly disobedient and then when he said You're not the boss of me, nobody can tell me what to do...And I said You know the rules, they apply to everyone at school, and then he kept repeating "it's a free country", talking over me. Aarrggh!! I was really upset that he was being so illogical and stubborn because he isn't usually that way at all. I expressed my frustration to a colleague who shared that all the teachers who have worked with that particular student have had similar experiences with him and that made me feel a lot better just hearing that I wasn't alone in that. Funny how that can help so much emotionally. We are all human.

Everything is Connected

I think I will try and document the little (and big) things that I remember that happen as seeming coincidences, because of Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency TV show and The Tao of Pooh book...

So today I had some stamps and a pocketful of dimes (from when we dumped out the Teddy Bear bank looking for laundry quarters) and two packages to mail (one to return the purple pants to Amazon and alsoYvonne's birthday present). The extremely nice post office gentleman helped me add everything up and I paid for the first one from the handful of coins I pulled out and put on the counter, and then put a few more stamps on the present (wrapped in horse gift wrap) and started counting out dimes and then he said how much I needed and I had exactly that amount. We both marveled at the fact for a moment...I asked if they were open on Saturday (because the website said they may be open, but wasn't sure) and he said of course nor, it's a holiday for veterans like himself! And I said oh, congrats (??it just came out of my mouth!!), and thank you, and then tried to remember what the actor and director of the new post-traumatic stress syndrome movie said to say, so I added What branch and where did you serve? And he actually told me about the Marines for a minute which was great, because it did sort of start a conversation, even if rather superficial. He said it was like forty years ago and he doesn't know any of the people still and I said wow, I've known Yvonne since we were seven (second grade) and that it's been OMG, forty years, which is both ridiculous and amazing...

 I had enough to go pay my library fine (from keeping Grady show DVD for so long) but I decided to stop and get Steve a chicken shwarma (though what I really got was a lamb gyro-I always murder that word when I try to pronounce it...) from the yummy place we love and rarely get to (also two cans of pop; Coke Zed and Diet Coke for moi). I don't think this is really a big coincidence, but as I was walking home past the Costume Shop I looked into the store and saw one of the types of masks that we were learning about in drama class (for commedia dell'arte), so I just popped in to ask the price and the (owner, I guessed) person told me unprompted all about the shaping of the masks for more European faces, as they were made in Italy, and that their bone structure and noses were different, and that the ones from Japan were also different, made for Asian features. It was quite interesting! The mask was $67.00.

I know there was at least one more thing...well, it was raining a lot and then it didn't rain at all on me during my stroll to and from the P.O. OH yeah! I haven't even thought about Dress for Success in quite a long time. They were instrumental in helping me to feel more confident as a job candidate and helped me out with some free clothes, hair products, makeup and workshop meetings. And also some free food for last Thanksgiving! So when I had time today I went on the computer in the other classroom and wasn't even planning on checking my emails, but I wanted to send a YouTube video (of The Danish symphony orchestra performing a suite from the Star Wars movies music) to the teacher and it automatically opened up my email inbox, which made me decide to start doing some deleting finally, and that's how I happened upon a Dress for Success invitation to attend a workshop lecture this Saturday! So I R.S.V.P.'d because I could really use the inspiration and positivity that those meetings provide. I also found out that they are having a grand sale where all their clothes will be available for purchase soon as a fundraiser. Maybe I can finally try to replace that amazing wool maroon pocketed long sweater that I accidentally shrunk to the size of a dog sweater last year after having worn it only twice. It's one of those clothing items that you just don't forget.

The Tao of POOH

I got the Tao of pooh from the library and hadn't read it since high school or thereabouts so I was really interested to see if I remembered it.

Most important parts to recall are going with the flow and being like the water that runs around the river rocks instead of being stopped by it, and also to not force things. What is going to come to pass, shall, with little to no effort on your part. HOWEVER. You must also listen to your intuition, to your inner voice, and act upon it. Do what it suggests. Most of the time it's telling you something for a  reason and it is a good thing to be in tune with it and pay attention then act.

Soup

Huh. I didn't write anything yesterday. Well. It was a pretty good day I guess. We had to move a lot of stuff for our neighbor out of her apartment into the laundry room and our place. She has a lot of cool stuff and we were confused why she hadn't already packed it to take with her. Cool books and lots of personal items like mail and photo albums and some cameras and electronics like a small portable TV.

Cat story. Somehow via the neighborhood website where we posted about the found kitty, Steve got contacted by a couple who thought it was theirs. The description and timing matched up and they came to pick her up tonight! He wasn't 100% certain it was the same kitty but seemed convinced that so long out on the road would cause her to stress and change color/lose weight. He was putting her into his truck when she BOLTED! Ran down the street fast as lightning and Steve and the guy fast in the chase! I saw her going so fast in the street I didn't know where she was so I stayed back and got the cat carrier ready (not sure why he didn't use it at first when he brought it, but I didn't say anything even though I thought about it because it was his choice if he wanted her to ride in the front, but I really should have suggested using it since I saw it back there and he had mentioned it.) We thought she had gone around back to the other neighbor apartment area so were looking there then she was spotted by the guy but she bolted again! And we got close then again! And finally, I caught her and felt really happy. Good kitty. Turns out her name is Cheese.

Three boys at school keep talking about fighting each other. Nonstop. 

I read two poetry books by Gary Soto yesterday. They were very interesting and lovely and sad. A good introduction to poetry.

Steve read an abridged Spam A Lot Monty Python script with me. It was a lot of fun.

There was supposed to be 'art club' today and teacher said the other day we could maybe work on the mural some more, but the door was locked when I went by, so I came home and had a nap and watched Star Trek: Discovery (I now forgive Sonequa Martin Green who played Sasha on The Walking Dead for leaving that show by dying in a really stupid way because she is awesome on Star Trek!).

I awoke cold and hungry and had a hot shower and attempted to make some miso soup. It turned out so good I want to make it again. It was just water and miso paste (that the nice person with cool hair at Uwajimaya recommended) hotted up in a pot and then I added chopped tofu and broccoli and cilantro/parsley. Oh yeah, also some cooked vegetable greens from the other day that I didn't want. If I make it tomorrow I will do it with mushrooms and carrot. I think it could've used some garlic.

Watching Scorpion now which is a very entertaining show and I highly recommend it. PEACE!

Lost Cat

I called and reported that lost cat and then we took it to the closest vet and they scanned it and said there is no chip and the cat is female and 'older' and has teeth, heart, thyroid and other problems. SO. Anyway. We stopped by Qdoba for burritos then brought her home again and gave her some sardines.

Hello World

There was no school but I got permission to go in while the nice art teacher was there grading and work on an unfinished mural with a cool Aztec Mayan theme. It's so great I got to paint!! Peace!!

As I was leaving this morning with the car already started up a random cat approached and I asked the neighbor if it was her lost cat but no, so we took it in and I went and bought it some food and Steve posted a found cat ad on the local neighborhood website. It looks like a smoky ghost. CAT!!

First the fishes, and now a cat! I like it, it's super soft and lets you cuddle it, but I do hope the owners contact us. I will call it Smoky or Ghost for now. Today is a day for cleaning up the apartment and also I need to go pick up the bikes after their tune up. And I need to stop eating Halloween candy because I had a toothache last night and that wasn't a good feeling. Have a great day, Peace out. (Nap time now before chores.)

NaNoWriMo

I am going to start writing a version draft of my book I want to write for the November writing month project. However I will keep it separate until the last day of the month. I guess. ANyway, today went by pretty quickly. I didn't come home during school at all, and didn't take my two breaks, but wasn't unduly stressed until the very end when I was confronted with a stubborn student who just wanted to do things his way, and I had to finally realize that it was fine. After school I went to the drama club meeting thing and then watched the play auditions and read the play finally so I could see what the deal was as a bigger picture. That's it. My replacement badge didn't show up yet but at least I ordered it. The school is closed for classified staff for grading so I am off, but I might go to the art department and help with a mural project. Peace and Love and all the good stuff. Be useful, be kind.

The Beginning

We only had two little kids come by for candy. That made me sad. Ah well. I was tired today but got to read a book ( a graphic novel called "Life Sucks" about vampires working at regular jobs and other normal things...) during the last couple of hours while on library duty. And I discovered there are a couple of Doctor Who books there too! :)

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!

Today I wore my costume of Goodwill purchased hospital scrubs and "bloody" head bandage. Sort of a zombie and sort of a victim in the hospital. Most people had a positive reaction to it, and I was kind of chuffed about that.

I have since showered and changed (since I had a whole mini can of blue hairspray in my hair!) but I hope that we get a few more trick-or-treaters than last year when we had only two or three. PEACE.

Yup, yup yup yup yup...!

Writing on time for once in a long while. Watched some auditions for a student-directed school play. They were pretty good, but b-o-r-i-n-g. Partially because I didn't have a script so I couldn't read along, and partly because it was a play and not a musical, so no singing auditions: 😔

I don't know if this is true, but I am hoping that doing some editing and minor instruction in the basic literature (writing and reading/English class) is going to help improve my own writing. And that helping my student in theater class practice and perform scenes is going to help me become more dramatic/comedic and less afraid of having stage nerves.

I met the same girl twice when I was walking with other kids to places. She asked me for directions and I felt confident after this much time to help her find her desired locations, but the first one stumped me until I asked three other students and the second one I was better with but not 100% on.

She was a transfer student and I really wanted to help her because I was so lost when I first arrived, and also because she shared her story with me of having health problems and needing to move and switch schools.

I miss practicing and playing ukulele. More to come... PEACE!

Oh Hey There!

I am rather ashamed that I continue to iterate that writing is one of my favorite things yet I am becoming so inconsistent. I keep saying this. I don't know how to become better. It's so difficult to become a regular writer if I don't do it every day. Anyway. I'm going to transcribe my notes from the past few days, with some additions since I didn't take notes all weekend.

Weekend. The weekend consisted of some serious bra shopping and taking the bikes to the shop, and going to the homecoming dance, and going out for sushi lunch, and lots of sleeping. And a little drinking too. I also got my friend some more birthday presents and stashed them away for when her bday approaches.

I think that attending and participating in drama class is good for my confidence/self-esteem. And I'm not sure, but I also believe that it's good for some of the kids to see another 'adult' participating and interested in the theater program. I wish the director would utilize me more, but maybe he needs to see that I am available and interested in helping out. Or maybe he is so used to doing everything himself that he needs to learn to trust and delegate. Hopefully, it will become easier and better as time goes on.

I had noticed that one student was sans socks for several days and one day I remembered that we have a clothes closet available to kids and their families, so I took him there and we got him many pairs of socks. That felt like a successful mission. I also remembered to give a couple of kids some treats for extra credit behavior, so that was good too.

The weather has been chilly, but as pretty out as the nicest kind of Summer day. Except for yesterday, when it was rainy and last night when it was so windy that several sections of town lost electrical power...

There was a very amazing school assemble with lovely musical performances. I was really impressed by the singers, and think they could do well on any of the television talent shows.

So, we got some fishes. And I thought how cute! But then I found out from the pet store fellow that they can live up to eight years? What? I was really surprised.

I got some super cool stamps at the post office the other day: The Snowy Day, Bees and Flowers, and Jimi Hendrix. I love stamps.

A nice gal in the gas station bought me a lighter so I wouldn't have to give the guy a twenty for 99cents. That was really nice. Later I sort of paid it forward by giving a traveler guy from New Orleans a pack of cigarettes. And then another guy came up and offered him and myself a hit on his purchased pre-rolled joint, and I hadn't smoked in so long (since that time I accidentally rolled a teensy bit of pot into my cigarette and had to go to work a tiny bit stoned! Yikes.) that I seemed to get more and more high as I walked the rest of the way home and had to go to my haircut appointment very stoned. Which was sort of difficult and weird. I ended up fine because Steve was able to drive me to and from the salon.

I really want to learn how to use my Go Pro camera and upload the videos to YouTube. That is the only point in having that camera! I really need to do this somehow! How do I do it???

Do I need an i-Pad or can I use my new Surface pro that I rarely use?

I finally decided that after three weeks I'm probably not going to find my ID just sitting around somewhere, so I asked our nice secretary for the number to call and they said I just needed to send them ten bucks, but I only had a hundred and the accountant wasn't in to change it, so later I walked to the convenience store and got some stuff up to the counter but she said she couldn't change it, so I walked to the game store and bought a pretty awesome foam Zelda sword and a Rick & Morty wallet for Steve for Xmas (or his bday in January) and got change that way. Yay. Will order my ID tomorrow.

Even though there are still terrible after effects of the natural disasters in the United States, the biggest news lately is about sexual abuse and harassment. In Hollywood. Like serious shit. Serious.
Be kind to one another. Peace.

Choir and Contemplation

Continued from before, regarding the math pedagogy, I know I have a really good math instruction book I got at Goodwill somewhere, but it might be better to find some good clear worksheets online. There's a ton of great teaching material on the internet and I just need to decipher what is best to start with in the maths area ...I'm more versed in English and reading and writing, but that's okay.
But that's why you should get your kids a toy cash register and practice counting money with them. It was really hard to watch that kid struggle thinking so hard and then guess an answer that was not close. I wasn't even supposed to help because it was an assessment  (not graded) to gauge the class level for future lessons (there are less than ten students) but he was asking another student to copy his answers so I thought it was better if I tried to help him figure them out and understand than to cheat...
It appeared that he didn't even know the concept of a quarter being twenty-five cents and that four quarters equal a dollar. And I'm so old and removed from the process of learning this for the first time that I don't remember the way I was taught. I'm quite sure it was with my dad before I could even read...my dad did more math and writing stuff with us and my mom focused more on art, reading, and language. And of course, I had so many jobs like cashiering involving money and making change and counting, that I learned to reinforce that skill. Not that I am great at counting in my head, or even that I have retained the knowledge. In fact, I tend to make simple math problems more complicated than they really are, or need to be, so that's another reason why I need some instruction on how to teach math before I attempt to do it and confuse students. Being a good teacher is great, but being a lousy teacher is worse than not teaching at all. You get my drift.

There's some absolutely beautiful Autumn weather here now. It has been very foggy in the morning and then burned off to a bright blue sky shining on lovely leaves of different shades of yellow, orange, brown, red and green.

I got to see my first school choir concert and there were a lot of people in it from drama who I recognized. I got to sit near an art teacher and her two little boys who were very entertaining, shouting out Bravos and Whoo-hoos as they applauded the performers.

Good night.
Peace.

Zombie Apocalypse

I'm not saying I believe in the possibility of an impending Z.A., but if there was, I wouldn't mind being in our school library. It doesn't seem that vast or dense but there's some high quality and interesting stuff, like medical encyclopedias and histories of witchcraft and a book about essayists, and a decent poetry section. I'm not sure how long it would take to read all the books in there, I guess it would depend on if I got tired of reading and did other things like art projects and writing. I think the point was that even though I love books and want to read them and look at them whenever I see them, I don't really read that often despite having several books checked out of the library and others borrowed from the drama department. I want to take them home and read them, but when I get home I just want to sleep or watch TV or relax or do chores. But if I was essentially locked up in a place with a thousand books then I could read and read and read peacefully without any distraction. Except for possible zombies. And I hope that I would read for education and not just entertainment because there would be no great lasting benefit otherwise. Peace and love. Go read a book! Muah!

Tues-Wed.

I don't totally understand how Wed is short for Wednesday. Well now. I just went to look that up real quick and found out some answers from someone's blog:

 https://britishisms.wordpress.com/2012/04/15/weds/

Good news! Fantastic news! Great news! The phone was found! I don't know where or how exactly, but I was so happy and relieved. I brought the security lady a flowering plant that we got at Safeway the other night, which seemed to make her happy and that made me feel happy. There was a reason I hadn't planted it yet! It was meant to be a gift for someone special. It was only five bucks too... whereas the cut flowers I got for another teacher awhile back were about thirty dollars! Rip-off...!

So again yesterday I skipped writing in favor of sleep, although I did go to a volunteer fundraising job which took a lot of energy and lasted a few hours. But I also didn't maintain my "no Twitter until I write" rule yesterday or today. That's why I'm still writing this pretty late at night.
I did a little exploring and found out there is a single solo restroom near the staff luncheon room. I was glad I didn't have to do a number two, because I didn't notice until it would have been too late that there was minimal t.p...
The staff room is really nice, but it doesn't have any coffee or tea or snacks like in the mail room at the other school. Speaking of mail rooms, there isn't really one here, it's just envelopes in file folders. I do miss how the leadership program kids at the other school were always doing projects to build people up, like posting motivational notes in the bathrooms and writing thank you notes to the staff and putting them in our mailboxes.
When a student I was working with got back from the bathroom he announced he just took a 'big poo'. I wasn't fazed, but I don't know if he was just sharing that or trying to gross me out, because that is something he might be prone to do. He commented that it's disgusting, I replied it might seem like that but it's just what is left after your body absorbs all the vitamins and nutrients it could use, and it's almost always some shade of brown because that's all the colors of your food mixed together.

A teacher gave out some very basic money math word problems and I was expecting some kids to have difficulty with translating them into mathematic equations, though not to be seriously stumped; they were addition and subtraction solvable. But one student was severely daunted by every problem. The concept of using subtraction to figure out how much money you would have remaining after you spent a certain sum seemed to be beyond his understanding. I tried to explain it in several different ways but without knowing what he already knew and was capable of comprehending, it was hard to assess the best way to instruct him. Money math can be fun and is a great real-life skill to learn, so I hope we can figure this out. It's just frustrating and perplexing to think he got to high school without absorbing any of the basic ideas of when to use subtraction. I thought at first the word problem aspect was the confusing part, or that there are so many ways to say subtraction (minus, take away, difference) but even when I rewrote it in number form he was bewildered. He didn't get that the number indicated after the decimal was the change and the number before the decimal was the dollar amount. Which means he never learned ones, tens and hundreds places in their correct order. So I guess that might be a good place to start!

I was correcting papers in the library and blanked on the spelling of the word exercise. I saw a kid spelling of it with a 'z' and I wrote it like that too. I knew it wasn't right so I went to find a dictionary but I couldn't locate one. I asked the librarian and she looked too, but no. It turns out they don't have any hard copy dictionary books anymore. Huh. Broad City tonight had a great tribute montage to famously powerful and strong activist women, I highly recommend it! Peace out! :)