Holiday Update

So the hummingbird was right. It did end up snowing. Very pretty. Steven was already off on his adventure to Zona and I spent a lot on champagne, cheese, nice wine, rosemary salty focaccia and Moonbrine pickles at New Seasons grocery store. I also got banana split ice cream and tasty tangerines. I'm continuing watching the show Galavant which is amazing and I wish I had known about it sooner. But it's super fun to binge watch it, which I've been doing all day in between making coffee and (HoneyBaked ham) pecan waffles (and ham) and sleeping... Because I'm still 'with cold' I am needing to sleep and needing to remind myself it's okay to sleep!

I woke up from a mid-morning nap when Steven was clattering around like Santa Claus because he couldn't find things for his trip so I got up to assist and take him to the train. When we were de-icing his electric car the new neighbor came out with her dog Rocky to say hello and I gave him a large slice of ham and he shook my hand on her command which tbh was kind of fantastic. I love it when dogs are trained like people. They are brilliant. I took Steve to the train before it started to rain ice again but later he told me he got a Lyft from the library. That's good because the train may have made him late, but it made me feel guilty that I didn't drive him. But I really was concerned about the roads and am still not feeling well.

I found a long note in my phone and several paper notes sitting about the apartment that are regarding things and sundry so you know, miscellaneous that I can copy here so I will do that tomorrow on Christmas because it is a day of writing after all. Isn't it? Did I say how funny and irreverent Galavant is? It's like the Rennaissance version of Braindead. Political commentary, current cultural pop references like Game of Thrones, and others....it's really fabulous. I think it deserves a re-watch. I thought about going to church this morning and then tonight or tomorrow and I guess it's just not really ingrained in me to do that/ I didn't grow up doing that. So I'm going to light candles and be safe and warm and grateful at home. God Bless you, everyone. Peace.

Merry Christmas Eve Day

++
+So the last week of school before break for holidays/winter time was really busy and interesting too I suppose. I really want to write and publish my book/s so I can be off and running and work part time at school. I waited until break to get sick I have a medium bad low grade cold now. We didn't make it to the school play, instead attending Steve's coworker's Christmas party which was a nice time with good snacks and ping pong games. I didn't know anyone else but I didn't feel excluded because Steve was there for me and didn't ignore me. I wish there had been more dancing and that we weren't relegated to the garage area, but that's okay, it was definitely a fun and friendly gathering. Although, strangely, the one library employee who has ever been kind of rude and snotty to me showed up as the guest of an employee. When I found out What? There was just a tiny red breasted hummingbird flying in my window! Negativity over. Try to think positive now, eh? Poor little tiny cold hummingbird. What is it up to? Is that a 'sign of snow to come'?

We did get to go to the choir concert which was lovely and had a few kids I knew from school performing too.

I gave out all the music CDs I bought in Seattle from my brother-in-law's pipe band to people at work, nicely wrapped by moi, and one to the nice man at the post office. He always has a friendly manner and helps me add up stamps too. I made brownie's from Katharine Hepburn's recipe for the Christmas party, the post office and Garage Sale Warehouse team. Also for our maintenance man Matt, who came to fix the sink. He replaced the bathroom faucet and shared that it also happened to be his birthday so I gifted him the Pickle Rick picture he admired that I had printed out at the library. The drama teacher gave me a huge bottle of beer which I drank that very night (the last day of school) and I asked him to please text me if he goes to school to do clean up and work so I can come help. Hopefully he does because I want to help out more. It's a good feeling to volunteer and I like doing theater related things, whatever they are.

I don't usually get my family (sister and her kids) Xmas gifts, just birthday ones, but this year I sent her something because she had us over for Thanksgiving and all.Just a good Seattle trip mostly, and I thank Steve for that because he kept a mostly positive attitude! We got to ride bikes along the pier and go to an artsy cafe for pie, have some very good pizza and go to an indie cinema to see Three Billboards, which happened to be practically just across the street from the hotel.

The kids at school got to make nachos the last day and I got to take some leftovers home so we had that for yummy supper the next day. There was also some yummy cheese and croissants and grapes that Miss. Susan brought but it wasn't for taking home. I need to get my own cheeses and grapes. But grapes and cheeses that other people bought always taste better and seem more appealing. A-peeling, get it? Ha ha ha. Someone also brought BlueStar donuts the other day, which was nice. And the kids got to make cupcakes for 'life-skills' class. One student keeps showing up with new scratches on his arm and I wish I could encourage him to find a more productive hobby. We watched the Jim Carrey Grinch movie in the last class, which I hadn't seen before, and last night after playing some Harvey Birdman game, Steve and I watched Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, which was great! PEACE!

Mental Health Day

Took today off. It was awesome. Slept late, made breakfast, went back to bed till noon, watched TV (First Dates), ate cereal, made brownies (still baking them), reading some good graphic novel, colored my hair pretty purple. Love that I planned my day off in advance, that I am not on bus duty or working with super needy fragile kids, so I don't feel guilty not being there, and that none of my coworkers seemed to give a shit that I was taking a day for no special reason. Although it is special to me, and I really did need it. Even though work isn't highly challenging every day, it does take a bit of mental and physical energy and I really needed a day to not stress about anyone but myself and sort of relax and re-group. I still want to and intend to transcribe notes I made because some of them are rather insightful and personally interesting, but tonight I am just stopping in to say Hello and Goodnight. Peace.  "The Doctor: Run like hell, because you always need to. Laugh at everything, because it's always funny. Never be cruel and never be cowardly. And if you ever are, always make amends..."

This Doctor didn't say that quote, but it's a great picture!

What has been and What Will Be

I think that's a Walking Dead episode title...On Sunday, Carl was somehow bit, they didn't show it, and though there's speculation that he will live, he is presumed on death's door, though he still looked perfectly normal at the end of the show.

I have been writing things on paper for the past few days, but not taking the time to transcribe them here, so I will catch up with that on my pre-planned day off wonderful Friday.

See you then, and thanks for listening! Peace.

OH My GOD

Another. Another school shooting. Oh for Fuck's sake. Samantha Bee said it best when she said to the lawmakers, nobody needs your thoughts and prayers right now, we need to enact strong gun control.

Today I was cranky because: I was tired, I didn't get my second break, which I almost never do, but I want it, I want to take it, I'm just always in the middle of something and don't feel like I'm able to remove myself from the situation even though I really need to. Also cranky because (mostly) boring assembly, which I think I (and other aides) should have been allowed to skip because I was finishing a paperwork project (so annoying, the label template for the file divider tabs weren't lining up properly, and I was just hating the whole thing because I had to start and stop it several times. I was also thinking about mistakes because the journal prompt was "What is a mistake you made in your life? What do you wish you did differently? What do you regret?"– and usually I help kids write theirs, but today after helping I sat down and wrote out my own answer to the questions. I will share it later because this is really long now...

I hate assigned projects that can't be completed in the time allotted. Hate them. So distracting.) Also cranky because other teacher (s) insist (s) I need to completely log out of a computer before they can use it. They don't seem to get (or don't want to utilize) the 'switch user' option is there for that reason They wanted me to log out, and I've heard that before, and so I wanted to be agreeable and agreed, but they claim that in order to log out you need to log on first with your password. This makes no sense, but they don't seem to get that so I tried to show her what I meant by doing as she asked (slightly patronizingly, so I said please don't condescend. And she said sorry.

Tone of voice can be very important, but I should also have had more of a sense of humor (although, as I said, it was the end of the day, and already cranky...I was Still trying to finish the stupid office project, And had to get to a CPR course (at a different school) I had just signed up for only an hour earlier. After I logged on (remember, this is supposedly so that I can log out), she told me to navigate to the apple icon to log out. I said, well, how aboooot what I usually do, go over here (opposite side of menu bar) to my name (I click on my name and about twenty names of users shows in a drop-down menu) and then I could log out ... or we could just click on your name right here, and you can be logged on! So I did that, because she can undo it if she wanted and whatever.

You want to use the computer, use it, don't be bothering my ass to log out all the fucking time. That's another thing I HATED about the other classroom I was in last year. I didn't have a computer but the other teachers all did. She wouldn't let me use the Chromebook I was given to use, because she was mean, so I had to go on the PC to try to read email and then the second I went to do something else or help a kid somebody logged me out.

Somebody being whatserface. Grrrrrrr. That dumb office project made me be late to start reading to my student, it made me not be able to help other student study the chem flash cards I made them, and I just want to work with the kids when they are around and give them attention if they want/need it, and not do office work. I also had to stop doing the journals to start doing that, so I had to leave that unfinished although someone else was able to finish it later, then I was making some progress and our sub from last year popped in and started chatting at me about school funding and I wanted to scream because he was just distracting me from trying to get the labels to print correctly.

 I can't concentrate on office work when there's people around blabbing either. I definitely do it best by myself, and it's so frustrating to have to start and stop repeatedly or have to ignore someone because I am trying to finish the thing. And then my associate who had wanted me to log out of the PC (I had said afterward I was sorry I was cranky but it was that least favorite task assignment that was making me nuts) offered to help me finish it, and I was really grateful because no one else had offered, but she didn't really help, but I felt emotionally supported for a minute and that was meaningful.

Barb seems to be cold to me lately but she is probably going through stuff outside of work, like how I saw Patsy at the CpR and after talking with her found out about her daughter having cancer that was almost misdiagnosed (she's fine, everything good now). Just sayin', you can't know stuff by looking at people and if someone seems indifferent or unfriendly to you, it is most likely because of things going on in their own personal lives so try not to take it as being about you...

I am sitting here complaining and trying to think of some positive things about today that perhaps arose out of the annoying/bad stuff: I am now CPR certified (doesn't seem like a three-hour class would be enough to qualify for that, but it is), since we were in the library at the elementary school I looked through some books and found a really cool one called How You Talk by Paul Showers (1966) who (I found out) wrote a LOT of books for Let's-Read-and-Find-Out Science series after already having had an extended journalism career. I just have one more thing positive to say for now, and it's quotes I copied from Sandra Cisneros's book The House On Mango Street that the class is 'reading' (listening to) right now: "Just remember to keep writing, it will keep you free!" and "I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much."                                                Peace.

Wander through Wensdee

Yah so, Let's see. A student actually inspired me by playing me a video of the scene with the song from Tangled movie where she does a ton of chores and tasks and hobbies and organizes everything. I joked that she had ADHD and was on Adderall. So I really got on with it when I came home and got stuff together to sell and put price tags on things (books, records, jacket, boots, posters...) and looked up LP prices and cleaned and made notations in our log book and printed labels, etcetera, etcetera. Tried to use a stain cleaning pen on the free chairs so they looked nicer and went through the Christmas stuff bag... Finished wrapping up Amtrak T-shirt for Uncle Wolf and little kid's Amtrak train conductor classic outfit for nephew for an extra late birthday present. Cleaned the washer and dryer a little bit and Steve helped hang up some Xmas lights I found in the laundry room. They look cool. I love Christmas lights so much, I should go buy some so it's more cheery around here during Winter Time to help escape the Winter Time Blues. Steve brought home Little Caesar's and we watched South Park which was very political satire and then Broad City which was very funny.

Wildfires: terrifying.
Gun violence: continuing.
Sexism: ongoing (but #MeToo is Time Magazine's 'Person of the Year'.)

I should write more about work because I don't really mean for this to turn into my diary of only personal stuff. I had an opportunity and I took it to sit at a desk and use a PC to finally look through almost two months of unread e-mails (you are supposed to be checking your email everyday, which I was never able to do comfortably last year without getting nasty looks or weird comments, because I was supposed to be staring at my student every second of the day from 6:30 on...[I'm being a little sarcastic] and I can do it here so I should get in the habit of doing it.) And then after the buses left early we are scheduled to have time for conference or study, and I watched some TED talks on education while I went through the deleted e-mails and replied to some and printed out one important one I had archived that was from the principal and re-iterated that classified staff are supposed to have breaks and need to take our breaks, G-dammit. I found out that I missed a few free yoga classes, and some yummy food on sale, and a concert by a band that the band teacher and one of the vice principals play together in! So really, you can miss out if you skip the emails. Honestly, it was mostly stuff that was not vital to me.

However, I should really take one of the CPR/First Aid classes that are offered for staff, and get my flu shot, and take more online classes. And attend the information session next week about how to get more training to possibly become a teacher or a licensed sub (make more money and get to do more teaching). I am trying to be really observant when I remember to, of the classroom teachers to see what kind of questions they ask the class to answer and  when they lead and guide them in certain directions where they are going, I suspect that some of it is right from the instructor's discussion guide, like the notes in the margins of the teacher's editions, but a lot of it is from instinct and just teaching experience. I have noticed that when I sometimes interject something to contribute that they will almost seamlessly repeat what I said without acknowledging me, and other times I am totally ignored. So I feel overall that I am doing what I should be doing most of the time. I feel less out of water here and now than I did in the other classroom. Although after I was transferred after Spring Break I was really happy in that class, except for the rotating teacher subs...so I really should just admit that my old teacher had a problem and it really wasn't me but her. Durrr. So. Peace and Love.
P.S. I said something pretty deadpan sarcastic today about how we teachers would eat all the cookies the kids baked to teach the lesson that life isn't fair and one kid (who is sometimes nice but sometimes a total ass) looked at me in surprise and exclaimed that he didn't know I was so smart. I thought Huh. So that's all it took to impress this kid. Be my own sarcastic self. Teenagers are weird. I miss working with the little kids sometimes. Seriously. Peace.

Toozdee

Ah! I forgot to listen to Crabfeast today!
Not as tired today.
Helped in theater by painting a sign for the play (3 hours) after school. They said it looked good!
Steve got us some delicious Thai food and we are watching Lethal Weapon show. About Elvis.
And DC Legends of Tomorrow. The fishies are doing well. Today they had air bubble baths.
A student confided in me some personal stories,  about how her father died some years ago and I shared that I had a very similar experience...I guess it just reminded me how much I miss him and how I still want to talk to someone/s about my personal traumas. God Bless and Peace be with you.

P.S. More people are coming forward to the press about sexual harassment allegations against famous politicians and celebrities.
P.P.S. There's a vast wildfire raging in California....again....this time southern areas. It started late last night and swiftly burned thousands of acres and homes because of strong Santa Ana winds. Evacuations happened as quickly as possible.

                                                               

Mundane Monday

So Tired today. Couldn't believe it was 6:44 when I woke up. It was dark as night outside and very cold. Drank coffee at work. History class was fun when we got to draw versions of hieroglyphics. Acting was fun when the students performed their rehearsed group performances. Math was fun when we did budgeting and coloring worksheets. Study hall was fun when I helped a kid with fractions and another with a Rosa Parks presentation. Our student who uses a wheelchair was absent so I didn't have to do changing duty. There were two nice cushioned chairs being thrown out near the apartment dumpster so I put them in the laundry room for storage until I could take them to the "store" to sell...

I skipped art club even though I really do want to paint more on the mural project. But again, so tired. I still need to improve my diet and exercise habits. They are pretty poor. That contributes to my tiredness I am sure. But it's a lot about the weather and that we did so much this past weekend. You know how if it's your day off you can sleep in sometimes? I slept until at least nine or ten both days. And that doesn't sound super late, but it's 3 or 4 hours later than usual during school days.

Watched a show I haven't seen since season 1 last year called Lucifer which was really good and now Blue Planet II: Coasts, and I am so surprised by what I am seeing. First of all, how did they get all of these underwater shots? (A lot is filmed by drones, but are there underwater drones?) And second, why does it all look like some amazing animated film? The sea urchins, starfish, limpets, eels and crabs! It's just causing me to shout at the computer! The way they live and eat and hunt and search for food. Their cunning and stealth are impressive and fascinating to watch. I'm glad we are checking it out. I have only seen bits of it when we're watching Gogglebox. So I came directly home after work with a list of things to do but decided to have a snack and lay down and read Twitter news/updates first and have a nap. I was awoken 2 or 3 hours later by a dream telling me there was someone at the door.

There was; it was Steve's sister's mom coming by to pick up her pans she ordered from QVC and had sent here for some reason. She was working as an Uber driver and just used the bathroom and chatted for a minute and left. I felt like a sleepy zombie and was super hungry so I made eggs and cheese on tortilla and went back to bed to eat and watch TV. Sometimes in order to regroup and reboot you need to act like you're sick and just do self-care nurturing things. Like stay in bed and drink 7-Up and hot tea and eat soup and watch movies and read books and rest. OR take a walk in nature and eat salad and green juice. OR whatever works. I love taking walks and bike rides in nature, but I also really love watching TV and listening to podcasts and s l e e p i n g. I hope all is peaceful and well with you. PEACE.

Saturday was chill, Sunday Work

So today we took all the stuff to the place and did all the things: Price tagging and making item #s. And finally arranging the area. It took like six hours. Steve got me some nice wine and we ordered pizza. He also had a brilliant idea for my children's book. We watched Simpsons and SMILF. Peace!

Friday is Finally Upon Us

I forgot to say yesterday how I did a good job (I believe) of helping a gal out after she became so upset that she shouted F-YOU!! to the class and stormed out. She was really upset and I found her in the bathroom and later after I talked to her and made her a cup of tea (all classrooms should have tea available, seriously)she asked how I knew she would be in there and I sort of made something up that sounded reasonable but not patronizing because the real answer was duh, where else would a girl go in that circumstance? Anyway, all was well eventually.

I am trying to engage my coworkers more actively when I see them because we all work so independently of one another that there's not a lot of time for conversation or information sharing. And they don't really like to text questions and support like my last class did. It  really felt like a 'long' week after only two days of work before vacation time last week, and I was like, out of clean clothes, so wore a weird (sort of) outfit today, which had me a bit discombobulated, so when I had the opportunity to ask our department head (a gal) for a hug, I did. She's pretty supportive of everyone so I didn't think she'd say no, or I would not have asked. I really just don't get (or give, and that's on me) enough hugs. Actually, I did give at least three people little hugs today and they didn't seem to mind. Maybe I'm supposed to give more hugs in order to receive more. I mean, like consensual and platonic same-sex hugs. Not weird sexual harassment hugs.

I got to help out rearranging the room and do some file organizing which is always a fun challenge, and secure an extra desk from a friendly custodian who spoke German. I skipped drama in order to come home and start loading what to sell into the car and discovered some great items near the dumpster as give away things. I got a table and a folding laundry hamper that would work perfectly for an art print sale display. I also met the newest neighbors and their pretty dog called Rocky.

Here's to success and prosperity in our new venture, to getting extra rest for a productive upcoming week, and to helping others whenever we can. Be good, be safe and most of all be Peace.